Monday, October 17, 2011

Logline #17

Title: The Rowaness of Shalott
Genre: YA Fantasy

http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2011/10/logline-critique-round-3-5.html

After spending her life loveless and nameless, an immortal girl falls in love with the young knight Lancelot, who names her Guinevere and awakens her dormant ability to feel touch. But their forbidden romance threatens to expose the secluded existence of her irresistible female race, and the addictive sensation of touch weakens the bond to Guinevere’s rowan tree—the force keeping her alive.

5 comments:

  1. Oooo! This is right up my alley. My current WIP involves tree spirits too!

    Anyhoo, back to business...I like this. It makes sense. I want to read more. I'm not sure about the comma before your final "and" but that might just be me.

    Great job.

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  2. Great job revising this from the original. I really can't think of much to post, and wish I could be of more use. Good luck!

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  3. So much better! I think you nailed it.

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  4. I got a bit confused as to what the mc's nature is. Is she a siren? I assume she must have originally had a corporeal body for Lancelot to fall in love with, but maybe not. Can you clarify? Does he fall in love with her reflection or voice or some such? I think you could drop the first phrase and go with: An immortal....

    "secluded" is unnecessary.

    Love the stakes.

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  5. I really like this, good job!

    Good luck. :)

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