Title: BABY DOE
One wintery night in the woods, a man wrenches a baby from the arms of a teenage girl, thereby opening the door for murder, rape, and incest. Bucky Ontario, clever and daring, learns the shocking truth and goes up against a town determined to stop him at any price.
You want to start your logline with your character. Then state his goal and what is in the way of him achieving the goal. Then state the stakes. What will happen if he doesn't get his goal? Good luck!ReplyDelete
I'm confused why a town would opt for murder, rape, and incest; and how kidnapping a baby caused it. Is it a key figure in town he's opposing or the whole town? Was the baby kidnapped in the past and we're dealing with the fallout now? I think I just need a little more information to get the feel of the story behind the idea.ReplyDelete
I want to know more!ReplyDelete
I'm also confused. I think some restructuring is in order for this logline to make more sense. To me, it read a little like two different loglines for two different stories put together.
How does a baby's kidnapping open a door for such crimes? Is Bucky the baby that was kidnapped? Why is the town the antagonist, and who are the man and the girl? These are the questions I was left with. It's a little too vague. What exactly is the conflict, goal and consequence?
Hope this helps. Good luck! :)