Monday, October 17, 2011

Logline #23

TITLE: Dream Weaver


Megan has her first dream at seventeen, but she doesn't realize her dreams are special, they become reality. Confused and frightened by this new power, she teams up with mysterious new guy Mason who's been sent to help her learn the truth: there's a group of people who will stop at nothing to harness the power of her dreams.


  1. Sounds good!

    If I was going to get picky, I'd ask for a different adj for Mason rather than mysterious. It's vague.

    Also, I think you need a semi-colon between special and they become reality. Comma splice alert!

    You may want to tell us what the bad guys wanna do exactly instead of sorta telling us with "stop at nothing". Something concrete would help me picture the yipes involved.

    Good job!

  2. Talk about lucid dreaming!

    The first line needs some work. Here's something to think about:

    Megan thinks dreams are only fantasy, until she turns seventeen and they begin to come true. She learns to manipulate the dreams, and the lives of people around her. But when (more specific adjective) Mason saves her from (specific descriptor of bad guys), Megan must (tangible goal) before (specific consequences for failure).

  3. Hey Mandie!!

    Nice premise. And I like that you hint that there might be some romance btwn Megan and Mason! (LOL, can't you tell I love romance??)

    I was going to tell you about the semicolon btwn special and they too! lol. But also maybe you can go with an em dash?

    I think you can still nix some things and expand others, like I'd love to know what does Magan have to do to stop the bad guys. Maybe the MC sounds passive?

    Maybe something like: (Hey a LAME example of nixing and expanding words.)

    When seventeen-year-old Megan realizes all of her nightmares come true, she freaks out. But that's nothing compared to what she feels when Mason,(fill in something specific here, like: her new neighbor, her new classmate) tells her a group of guys are after her, willing to do anything to harness the powers of her dreams. Now Megan must (her quest) to (fill in the blank: stay alive, kill the guys that are after her, etc.)

    Hope this helps and GOOD LUCK with the auction! :D

  4. I would read this, I really like what you have here!

    My question is this: Is this her first dream EVER, or her first dream that turns to reality? I think that needs a little clarity. And I'd also like to know who the group of people are.

    Hope this helps! Good luck! :)