Monday, October 17, 2011

Logline #11

TITLE: Supernatural Freak
GENRE: urban fantasy

http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2011/10/logline-critique-round-3-12.html

In contemporary London, 25 year old paranormal consultant Robyn Wise joins
forces with the ancient spirit living inside her to fight the Dark Cloud,
a malevolent entity determined to absorb Fairyland's power. If Robyn
fails, all good magic will be eradicated from Earth, and our planet will
turn into a hopeless desert where mercy is dead.

4 comments:

  1. I like this!

    My only comment would be to consider removing "In contemporary London". Unless it's an important factor of the story that must be known in the logline, I don't think the place is needed.

    Hope this helps! Good luck. :)

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  2. I like your revisions. I think it's safe to remove London because you mention she's a paranormal consultant and you talk about the planet Earth.

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  3. thanks for the feedback so far: on Absolutewrite
    people kept asking me when the story took place (you never know with fantasy, it could be an historic one/steampunk etc), so I decided to keep it. Changed it into modern-day LOndon, though. Can't wait for the winners of the Baker's Dozen to be announced! let's cross our fingers ...

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  4. I agree - you don't need "contemporary London" in the logline. Sounds like a great read. Good luck!

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