TITLE: REMEMBRANCE
GENRE: Paranormal Romance/Fantasy
Original Log Line: http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2011/10/logline-critique-round-3-10.html
Arianh, Tiernan and Aiden are the reincarnation of a medieval lord, witch and wizard, who have been reunited by an ancient spell. The three must remember and settle their past differences in time to save their futures as a sinister man from their prior life is back too, and he wants revenge.
I actually changed my logline even further after I sent it back to KT. See below, and thank you for your crit. The feedback is fantastic and very helpful.
ReplyDeleteArianh, Tiernan and Aiden are the reincarnation of a medieval lord, witch and wizard, who have been reunited by an ancient spell. They must remember and settle their past differences as their futures are in danger. A sinister man from their prior life is back too, and he’s bent on revenge.
I like the idea of this story.
ReplyDeleteI'd consider some rearranging. Maybe something like "Reunited by an ancient spell, Arianh, Tiernan and Aiden are the reincarnation of a midieval lord, witch and wizard. With their futures in danger, they must remember and settle their past differences before a sinister man from their prior lives gets the revenge he seeks."
Hope this helps! Good luck. :)
Thank you KT, it does. I like the rearrangement. Sometimes one overworks it to death when all it needs are fresh eyes to go...look...voila' Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSteph
You're welcome! Happy to help. I know from experience how much fresh eyes can help. ;-)
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!