Monday, October 17, 2011

Logline #24

Title: Ripple Effect
Genre: YA Time Travel Dystopian

When the time machines seventeen-year-old Kali Addison’s dad invented are destroyed, she discovers the power to travel through time is within her. With a heavy handed government wanting to reproduce Kali for their own use and those who wiped out her dads work wanting her dead, she hardly has time to figure out who she really is. If one of them catch her before she does, it’s times up—for everyone.


  1. Change With a heavy handed government wanting to The Government wants to.

    By reproduce do you mean clone or mate?

    The line catch her before she does is confusing. She's trying to catch herself?

    This is really coming together. Good job!

  2. You have a fun concept here, but this does need some work. There are some subject-verb agreement issues.

    Kalli's goal has got to be more tangible than figuring out who she is. She must DO something.

    Clarification example:
    When her father's time machine is destroyed, seventeen-year-old Kalli Addison discovers she has the power to travel through time without it. With one group of thugs wanting to clone her, and another trying to kill her, Kalli must (specific goal) or time will be up, for everyone.

  3. Awesome guys! Thanks, I wish I knew what numbers yours were so I could try and help you out:)

  4. Great sounding story! I'd love to know more.

    I did trip a bit over the first sentence, and I asked the same question--mate or clone?

    I like the example Heather posted above.

    One more question: Does the time-travel play a bigger part of the story, or is it a secondary plot? I'm assuming it is, but if it's more the front-runner, we need to know that.

    Hope this helps. Good luck! :)