Saturday, October 27, 2012

BD One Last Chance Logline #42

Title: - TRIPLE B
Genre: - MG Contemporary

Thirteen-year-old Samantha tries to avoid her alcoholic father, but no one warns her that having a crush on her best friend’s brother would lead to cyber-bullying by the popular eighth grade girls, threatening her self image.

9 comments:

  1. Each of these elements sound intriguing by themselves, but I'm not sure what they have to do with each other. What is the most important part of the story: the relationship with her alcoholic father or the cyberbullying that results from her crush? If they do indeed go together, can you show us how?

    I think this is a timely topic and one that would be great for kids to read with all the bullying that's going on today. Good luck!

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  2. Thanks for your comment, Suzanne.
    Samantha considers school and her friend's house safe places away from her father. But when her safe places disappear due to bullying, Samantha doesn't know where to turn for support.

    Another possible logline:

    Friends, a sense of humor and a poetry journal help thirteen-year-old Samantha cope with her alcoholic father. But when Samantha’s crush on her best friend’s brother leads to cyber-bullying by the popular eighth grade girls, two friends stand by her and two become bystanders.

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  3. I like both of your revised loglines in the comments section, but I think you need to take a bit of each to make it clear and succinct. The first one in the comments doesn't mention a crush at all, nor the fact that her father is an alcoholic. I assume both are a pretty big chunk of your story. I like how the second one opens, but I'm left questioning how a simple crush could lead to cyber-bullying. And I'd leave the last part out..."two friends stand by her, two become bystanders." It just seemed a bit wordy.

    :) Good job and good luck!

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  5. Manju,
    I like your second logline the best. I think I'd just replace the "two friends..." part with "she finds out who her real friends are."

    Sounds like a novel that a lot of kids will be able to relate to. Good luck!

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  6. Thank you Rebecca and Carmen! Good luck to both of you!

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  7. Great topic. It is something that will hit home with "kids these days." :) I like your revised logline with the last line revision that Carmen suggests.

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  8. Thanks Sarah!

    Revised logline:

    Friends, a sense of humor and a poetry journal help thirteen-year-old Samantha cope with her alcoholic father. But when the most popular eighth grade girl perceives Samantha as the competition, verbal sparring matches escalate to cyber-bullying. Samantha discovers who her real friends are.

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  9. I like this last logline, Manju. My one tweak would be to make the last two sentences into one "...escalates to cyber-bullying AND Samantha discovers..." Good luck.

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