TITLE: CASSANDRA OF THE CRESCENT MOON
GENRE: MG Fantasy
When her grandmother is betrayed by a fellow witch and kidnapped by magic-hating vigilantes, twelve-year-old Cassie has no one to help her but a handful of witches who've sworn never to use their powers against others. Now Cassie must convince them to help her find the traitor and stand up to the enemy - magic or no magic – in order to rescue the only family she has left.
Sounds interesting. "vigilantes" crosses into YAReplyDelete
The stakes are high and clear, your mc comes across as vulnerable, but plucky and admirable -- nice job! The story itself sounds MG, as long as the vigilantes are "just" menacing and not doing horrifying violent acts.ReplyDelete
Sounds fun!I love a good witch story.ReplyDelete
Because you use the words "to help her" twice, I'd change the first sentence to read: When her grandmother is betrayed by a fellow witch and kidnapped by magic-hating vigilantes, twelve-year-old Cassie must turn to a handful of witches who've sworn never to use their powers against others.
Sounds intriguing and original! But I'd like to know the following: is Cassie a witch? How does what's happening to her grandmother directly affect your protagonist? However big a part Grandmother plays in the story, this novel should be about Cassie, and so your reader must know WHY Cassie is motivated to help her grandmother and whats in it for her. Also, you say in the last line that grandma is the only family she has left. Shouldn't this important information should come earlier in the log line?ReplyDelete
Love it! Carmen's tweak makes it even smoother. Great story!ReplyDelete
I'd agree with Carmen's change. For me, her motivation was clear and I was engaged immediately. Great :)ReplyDelete
Thanks, everyone. Carmen - good call on the "to help her." I'll make the fix.ReplyDelete