Saturday, October 27, 2012

BD One Last Chance Logline #26

GENRE:   Upmarket adult fiction
In THE GAMMY GAT LETTERS, nothing is going right for ten year old Jake Gatlin, as he begins school in a new town. He needs to talk to somebody. He figures his grandmother, Gammy Gat, is just the person. Only she’s dead. He writes to her anyway. Ten years later, after Jake is killed in Afghanistan, Marshall, his father, discovers the secret letters.


  1. Interesting...but I'm not sure who the main character is? Will it be the father when he finds the letters? I love the idea of a young kids having cool relationships with their grandparents...dead or alive! And, of course, the element of letter writing is refreshing as well. It's not clear to me, however, who the story is actually about.
    Good luck!

  2. I agree with Vanessa. I'm not sure if this is a story about how Jake deals with being in school in a new town and how he works through that by writing letters to his grandma or if it's a story about how his dad copes with his death. If it's about both, you need to find a way to convey that because I think it could be a great premise.

    Also, I would take out "In THE GAMMY LETTERS" and just start with "Nothing is going right..."

    Best of luck!

  3. I'm doubly sad, for Jake writing to his dead grandmother and for Jake dying in combat. So is the story about Jake's father? What's his name? And what is he to learn from his son's letters?

  4. I think it's a great title and can hear Jake's voice even in this short couple of sentences. Agree though that I don't know if this will be about Jake or his father. And you could lose the opening phrase and just start at 'Nothing is going right..'

  5. This logline is mine - rewrote it after critiques. What do you think?
    Nothing went right for ten year old Jake in fifth grade. He needed to talk, so he wrote to his grandmother, Gammy Gat. Only she was dead. Ten years later, Jake is dead – a sniper in Afghanistan. Marshall, his father, discovers the letters, two days after Jake’s funeral. They trigger his own childhood life experiences – life experiences not unlike his son’s - an epiphany which helps him come to terms with his anguish.

  6. This new version shifts the focus to Marshall, that's good. I suggest some trimming, e.g. 'He needed to talk, but instead he wrote to his dead grandmother, GG.'and 'They trigger memories of childhood experiences not unlike his son's, an epiphany which helps him come to terms with his anguish.'

    1. Thanks for interest and suggestions. Will take to heart.