GENRE: MG, contemporary
Harold has ruined twelve-year-old Jake’s life for the last time. So what if Harold has Asperger’s and is a genius when it comes to baseball trivia and sixth grade Algebra. Jake’s D-O-N-E and he’ll do anything to ditch Harold and his second place baseball team of six years and play shortstop for the undefeated Comets.
I like this logline a lot. This sounds like an interesting conflict and set of characters. My only concern is the first sentence. Can you ruin someone's life more than one time? Maybe, "Harold is ruining 12-yr-old Jake's life."ReplyDelete
Nice work. Good luck with this.
I like the title and the concept. For me, the logline could be smoothed out a bit. I don't see a connection between the first sentence and the next two. How does Harold's Asperger's ruin Jake's life? The pronouns in the last sentence also trip me up a little. is it Harold's baseball team or Jake's? I'm not 100% clear on what the conflict is here, but your energy and enthusiasm are great.ReplyDelete
Good luck and happy writing!
I feel like this is more Jake's story than Harold's, yes? You should lead with Jake.ReplyDelete
Twelve-year-old Jake is fed up. Harold has ruined his life for the last time. So what if Harold's Asperger’s makes him a genius when it comes to baseball trivia and sixth grade Algebra. Jake’s D-O-N-E. He’ll do anything to ditch Harold and their second place baseball team for a chance to play shortstop for the undefeated Comets.
Great title and great voice! Best of luck!
Great boy book concept!ReplyDelete
But I agree with Michelle. If your MC is Jake, then lead with Jake.
Thanks all! Jake is my MC and I think you're right about starting with him.ReplyDelete