TITLE: Codename Eagle Chick
GENRE: YA Spy Thriller
When a Secret Service Agent tracks down the president’s missing son, he finds him with a battered CIA recruit, an overly-suave CIA operative, and an Irish coffee-loving tech guru, all out to find “the faction” and why they want the president’s son dead.
Sounds great! Can u break it into 2sentences? Add a touch about the faction? Missing just a beat. Or maybe how the guru fits? He sticks out a bit.ReplyDelete
Sounds very interesting. I also agree about breaking this into two sentences and a brief explanation of the faction.ReplyDelete
Okay, I'm missing something here. Does he (she?) find the son WITH the battered CIA agent, etc., like in a room with them? Or do the other three HELP to find the son? I'm thinking the latter, but the way it reads is kinda confusing. Interesting, but confusing.ReplyDelete
I am also assuming the CIA agent is female because of the cool title?
If they all work as a team of misfits, you could start with:
When an (evil/communist/vampire) faction kidnaps the president's son, Tonya, a CIA agent, must work with three misogynistic male misfits to find the boy and save him before it's too late.
Yes, I accessorized your story a bit, as I don't know the details. Critter's license, ya know!
Sounds like a great adventure!
I really like the first half of this (although, as DJ pointed out, it could be read two different ways--I was reading it the first way), but the second half kind of lost me because I didn't understand what the faction is and I didn't understand who the "they" was is in "why they want the president's son dead." So I was really intrigued at first, but then got lost. Maybe it's just me. This sounds like it could be really fun!ReplyDelete
Ditto DJ and sgf. I'm intrigued, but just a bit lost. Love your title!ReplyDelete
Thank you so much for your advice. I've revised and got it right to the 75-word limit, so if you could let me know what you think about log line mark two, I'd greatly appreciate it--thanks!ReplyDelete
When a Secret Service agent tracks down the president’s missing son, he finds him in hiding with a battered CIA recruit, an overly-suave CIA operative, and a lesbian, Irish coffee-loving tech guru who’s their only connection with the enigmatic intelligence powerhouse named Luthor. Together, they have to find “the faction” that wants the president’s son dead and stop their plan to profit from a potential world war with the U.S. and China at its center.