Saturday, October 27, 2012

BD One Last Chance Logline #29

TITLE: DEATH BY NAIL GUN
GENRE: Mystery

Kimberly Murphy’s quiet vacation is disrupted by a dead body that keeps disappearing. Kim must find the body, again and again, before the killer sends her on a vacation – permanently.

8 comments:

  1. Looks to be in good shape. But why does she have to find the body? Can u add just a touch - to do her job, stay out of jail, etc?

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  2. "Kimberly Murphy's quiet vacation is disrupted by a dead body that won't stop switching locations. She must find the body, again and again, before the killer sends her on another vacation--permanently."

    I don't know why but this sounds like a funny version of slenderman. These are just a few humble suggestions. Good luck with this.

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  3. Can you maybe add in there as to why Kimberly has to find the body? Is she a detective or sorts? I think the reader needs her to have an investment in the body for us to worry about the fact that it keeps disappearing, and if she doesn't find it, she's next.

    this story sounds amazing. I could be wrong, but it reads like a ligthearted mystery. Very Janet Evanovich.:)

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  4. I love this! But yeah, I'd like to know why she has to keep finding it. Maybe to prove she's not nuts? But this is right up my reading (and writing) alley!

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  5. Thanks for the comments. Kim is a private investigator and I forgot to put that in there. Rebecca - every contest I enter my writing is compared to Janet Evanovich. I'd love to have her sales figures, that's for sure.

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  6. I think it's time Ms. E had some competition!:)

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  7. This reminds me of Hitchcock's "The Trouble With Harry"! Great movie. I agree with the others that we need to know why she must find the body.

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  8. Sounds great. Just wondering why she needs to keep finding the body too. Why not the police? It the body someone related to her? Is she a detective? Otherwise, I think it sounds interesting and I'd want to read the book!

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