Are those flowers in my yard?

Spring is starting to awaken and the snow is dissipating.  Isn’t it amazing how the change of seasons can flip your overall mood?  I can understand why some animals hibernate all winter long; it’s a cold and cranky time of year and all I want to do is sleep through it too.

Versus Challenge Reward #1

First, thanks and WELCOME to my new followers!  I appreciate your support!

Second, I’ve redecorated the blog for spring!  Maybe now it will actually show up, humpf. 

So we’ve reached the first mark in this new challenge I’m calling “Versus”.  Before I get to the fill-in-the-blanks excerpt, remember, whichever site has the most followers at the end of this challenge gets the exclusive reveal of the working title for Unnatural’s sequel-3 days before I post it here.  Twitter is in the lead by 20.

 

Okay, here it is.  Remember, I’ll be filling in the blanks as the rewards from this point on. 

My eyes fluttered open. ********************* where the air was moist and smelled musty. I could hear someone talking, but I didn’t recognize the voice. It sounded like they were talking to someone on the phone, the conversation one-sided.

“******************.... *****************…. I can’t believe they were so careless, left her unprotected… *******************…”

********************, were they talking about me? Did they know about my visions?

I looked down the long, dark hallway for an exit; I had to get out. **************************. I could see a slit of light at the end, light from under a door. I ran full speed down the concrete hall, terrified for my life.

“Stop her!” Someone yelled.

A new voice came from behind me, sounding familiar, but I didn’t stop to see who it was. I stumbled, regained my footing and kept pushing forward. I made it to the door, ********************. It was huge. I’d never seen one that big, it looked too heavy for me. My hands brushed the cool metal handle as suddenly ********************…*

Only 18 to go until I fill in the first blank.  New blog post coming tomorrow.

Inside Look Finale Reward!!

The excerpt you’ve been waiting for is finally here!  Drum roll please………

 

My hands shook so hard I thought they might break. I knew what was going to happen, I had seen it-but could I stop it?

I could see Hayden walking down the street and I knew I had to make a decision, fast. But if I was wrong, how would I explain myself? I would have to tell him the truth and I knew what it would mean if I did. It’d mean the world I knew could come crashing down around me, piece by painful piece.

There wasn’t much time to act. My hands gripped the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. My whole body was trembling now.

Would Dell really do it? He couldn’t, could he? It has to be a mistake, a glitch in my vision.  I had to be wrong, this one time. Please, let me be wrong. 

After convincing myself I was, I went to start my car to leave when the headlights in my rearview mirror made my decision for me.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this challenge; it went by so much faster than I anticipated! 

Now, on to the next challenge!

I am going to do this one a bit differently.  I’m going to post another excerpt, but this time, lines will be missing.  For every 25 followers, I’ll fill in the blanks.  Here’s the big twist: I’ll still use the combined totals, but, whatever site gets the most followers in this challenge (Twitter, Facebook, or this blog) wins an extra little something at the end.  I’ll reveal to those followers exclusively the sequel’s working title, 3 days before I post it to the blog for the world to see.    

So where’s the fill-in-the-blanks excerpt?  You’ll see it-*smiling devilishly* once we reach the first 25. 

Let the games begin!

Inside Look Follower Challenge Reward #5

This is the last "Inside Look" reward before the big one!  Only 4 away-great job!

Here it is.  Enjoy:

That’s when I lost all sense of control. Standing on my tiptoes, I threw my arms around his neck and started kissing him. My blood boiled, the mere temperature of it alone should have melted my skin off.

Now I know I had said I'd let you in on the next challenge, but, I'm deciding whether or not I want to mix it up next time.  Stay tuned; I'll be sure to post it once we've reached the final 4!

Inside Look Follower Challenge Reward #4

So we've made it to another reward!  Here it is:

“Tails you win, heads I win. Its only fair I tell you this is a doubled sided coin, but the question is, in whose favor, yours or mine?”

Enjoy the Supermoon; it truly is beautiful tonight! 

A day for quadruple the celebration!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone!

Today I’m not only celebrating that, but also the fact that my son turned 11 months old today (INSANE!  I feel like I just found out I was pregnant with him), my husband may have landed a new job, AND…

It’s the 2^nd birthday of my first novel, Unnatural!  Hard to think two years ago today I started writing it.  What a ride it’s been since! 

So cheers to all!  Wear your green proudly and be safe.  Hopefully at this time next year, I’ll be celebrating its publication!

Time moves too quickly

I can’t believe its mid-March.  I started this blog close to five months ago and I never imagined what kind of mental place I’d be in this far down the road.  I was taking it a week at a time, and that time flew by. 

In this past week, my mental attitude has had a major adjustment.  I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t be honest and tell you that January and February were very negative writing months.  Not so on the production/creativity side, but on the “I don’t know why I’m doing this, I’m never going to succeed” side. 

In my first blog post (and a couple after), I mentioned the love/hate relationship I have for my novel(s).  I’ve been told by seasoned writers that we all go through it.  Everyone hates their own work, thinks it sucks and loses faith at some point or another.  The good news is I’m no different from my peers.  The bad news?  When my faith in my craft falters, I’m finding it harder to pick my confidence back up and brush it off.  At least, I was finding it harder.

For those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter, you’ve seen I’ve been posting quotes a lot recently.  These quotes keep my confidence from falling again.  They give me insight and they are spoken or written by people who were once like me-a person with a big dream.  The difference between having a dream and achieving it is confidence and will, plain and simple.  If I have the drive and desire, if I work hard and keep at it, if I make my story the best it can be and do everything I can to get it out there, then at the end of my road will be success.  If not, then at least I can look back on my journey and know I did what I could, not wonder “What if?” and have regrets. 

Usually I’m pessimistic and maybe a little masochistic.  Instilling this in to my daily thought process has helped me work to change that, but there is still work to be done.  Rome wasn’t built in a day, and my self-deprecating attitude won’t be fixed overnight.  My plan is to keep at the motivational quotes and hard work.  Let’s see if I hold strong once the rejections start coming in, because there is bound to be some.

We are 7 followers away from the next “Inside Look” challenge reward.  That was fast!  Also a quick note to say I’m posting a lot more on Twitter on a trial basis.  Not that I don’t love Facebook, but with multiple postings daily it’s easier on Twitter since it’s built for that. 

An unrelated note, if you haven't done so, please donate to help aid Japan.  My heart is literally broken for everyone affected.  They're in very dire circumstances and each day more bad news comes out of there.  Every bit makes a huge difference.  This is a link to an article with great resources on how to help/donate:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/15/how-to-help-japan-earthquake-relief_n_834484.html   

I’ve caught a cold and have been sick all day, so now that my little one is in bed, I’ll be doing the same after a nice, hot shower.  If I don’t post again before it, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  Be safe and thank you for any help you can provide to aid Japan's disaster relief! 

Inside Look Follower Challenge Reward #3 and then some

Here’s the “Inside Look” challenge reward:

Character: Zoey Novak

Age: 20

From: Seattle, Washington

Lives in: Los Angeles, California

With her fiery red hair and unique violet eyes, pixie-like Zoey may appear weak, but she’s a tough girl with a big heart.

So I’m making a little change to this challenge.  Instead of every 10 followers, I’m increasing it to 20.  Sorry!  The reason for the change is to add some more excitement to getting the rewards.  I’ve thought of the next follower challenge too, and it’s a good one.  I’ll reveal that once we’ve reached another 20 followers.

As for this blog, Facebook and Twitter (links on the right)-I’m open to questions and I love hearing from my readers, so feel free to contact me (I’m very approachable, promise!).  If you have any suggestions on what you’d like to read about, I’d love to hear those as well.  I want to give you the most interactive experience possible for me to give.  I’ll be posting the inner workings of my mind on FB/Twitter (www.facebook.com/crowleykt and @KTCrowley on Twitter) more often, so if you’re not following me on either of those sites, you may be missing out!  Me just being me, daily posts will let you see a more candid side of my personality.  Right now, I'm apologizing if I offend anyone ever, it's not my intention.  I just speak my mind and filter as best as possible, ha-ha.  Now, on to the newest blog post!           

Yesterday as I was driving to pick up my husband from the train station, I played out the first five pages of the sequel in my head.  It just came to me, out of the blue.  I can’t write and drive at the same time (no one should, its just not safe, ha-ha), so I kept repeating it, over and over, trying to keep it fresh until I could put it on paper.  Once I had the car in park and made sure my son was content, I whipped out my Droid and starting typing away. 

Now for anyone who knows me, I HATE my Droid-typing on it is such a headache and it can be really buggy sometimes.  I long for an iPad or a netbook that isn’t hard to travel with but can be there for times like that.  I normally carry a spiral notebook, but silly me switched bags and forgot to transfer it.  Ugh-I won’t do that again.

This happens to me all the time.  I do my best thinking in three places: The shower, the car and in bed-and it’s those three places that writing tools aren’t easily available (not so much in bed; my laptop is in the next room and I keep my phone and a notebook on my nightstand for such occasions of inspiration).  I’m not complaining; it’s those three places that I thought up the story that is Unnatural.  I just have to find a waterproof laptop for the shower with voice software for driving so I never miss a note, ha-ha.  My husband will love that.

I’m getting more and more excited each day.  The sequel is really taking shape and I can’t wait to name it so I can stop referring to it as ‘the sequel’.  It deserves a good, solid name and although I was really hoping to hold a vote on the possible title, it doesn’t look like we’re going to make it to 1000 followers by March 31.  There’s still time, but its okay if we don’t make it; there’s always the next book!

Knock, Knock, Future

Life is too short and too precious to waste.  There is no time to waste on pettiness or selfishness, nor is there time to waste on people who don’t understand this.  There is only time to enjoy the wonderful things life has to offer us. 

Each time I come to this realization, I vow to appreciate life more and to reevaluate the things that I can change to make it better.  Then I find myself reverting back to my old ways and moving forward as before.  Today I am changing that pattern.  Every breath, every moment, could be my last-why not make them the best they can be?   

But life is also scary.  It’s the uncertainties that make me pause and proceed with caution.  It’s the fear of the unknown and the fear of change that makes me hit repeat on my daily cycle.  Fear of rejection, fear of disappointment, I could go on and on.  They are all keeping me from charging through the door to my future.  My hand is on the knob, I just have to turn it-so why can’t I?  Why can’t I follow through with a vow I so badly want to keep? 

With my history I know what I could be facing on the other side.  I’m a strong person, and I’ve been through more junk than ten people combined could handle.  I’ve taken a lot of hits and a lot of backs have turned on me when I’ve needed people.  I’ve been overlooked, under-appreciated, and treated badly for no reason at all.  And I’ve taken it all in stride, for the most part.  But truly, I’m the only person stopping myself from achieving my goals.  The real question is, am I strong enough to throw my fears aside and reach for the stars while keeping my feet on the ground?

Good riddance to bad rubbish and hello to my dreams becoming reality.  For those who are along for the ride, thank you, it’s gonna be a fun one. 

I’m turning the knob and casting fears aside-I start work on my query letter tomorrow. 

Sleep

Each night I’m going to bed later and later and my son is waking us up earlier in the morning.  You’d figure once my head hits the pillow I’d be out, but I’m more awake during the midnight hours than ever before.  Its not that I’m not tired or that I don’t want to go to sleep, it’s that I can’t.  I lie down and close my eyes and that should be all it takes, but it doesn’t work.  Instead my mind goes in to overdrive. 

I think TOO much and I think ALL the time.  It’s always been both a good and bad quality about me.  I have to get things planned and organized and then I have to get those things done.  I obsess.  The problem is there’s a never ending list of to-dos, especially as a new parent, so once I think I’m getting to a point where I can relax, a whole new round of worries, issues and to-dos appear.  I’m also an over-achieving perfectionist and I don’t have a shut-off switch, so nothing can be (pardon my French) half-assed or put aside.

With this increased lack of sleep impeding my thought process, I find myself constantly asking “What was I just thinking about?” or “What was it that I needed to remember to do?” out loud, like someone outside my head can remind me what’s on my brain.  I can feel a crash approaching.

The Unnatural series I’m developing is so important to me.  I want it to succeed and I want readers to love it as much as I do.  With my head in a fog and my new office disorganized, it’s been hard to keep my thoughts and notes together the way I’d like them to be.  I had to think of a way to organize the dozens of scenes and multitude of dialogue I’ve written so far.  This is what I came up with:

• The multi-colored cards are for dialogue.  Each character I’ve written random dialogue for gets a color (I’ll be buying more colors soon cause 4 is not enough).
• The white cards are for scenes.  I’ll write the premise of each scene with a list characters involved (along with a color key to match dialogue cards for quicker matching) on them.
• The bulletin boards are for when I’ve got my cards done.  I’ll be using these boards (and probably a full wall space) to lay out my novel, like a visual outline (I’m a very visual person).  This way I can move and rearrange what I have around to fit right.

When all is said and done (and I finally tackle my office and finish it into a functional writing space), I hope to get some sleep, because this has been keeping me up at night.  There’s more to my master plan above, but I don’t want to sound like a total neurotic dork.  ;-) 

I figured I’d show you so you can see how I’m developing the sequel.  I didn’t blog during the first novel’s process step by step and I’ve always been a fan of ‘behind the scenes’ info-it makes me appreciate the finished product that much more.  I hope at least some of you feel the same way. 

One thing’s for sure, this time around I’m doing things much differently; for better or for worse will be determined soon enough by the end result.   

Inside Look Follower Challenge Reward #2

Here it is-hope you enjoy!

I looked down the long, dark hallway for an exit; I had to get out.  My spine tingled and my hands felt clammy.  I could see a slit of light at the end, light from under a door.  I ran full speed down the concrete hall, terrified for my life.

10 more until the next reward.  Wonder what it could be next time??  Don't forget, I'm up on Facebook and Twitter, and both are linked right here on this page to your right.

On a different challenge note, the 1000 followers challenge still stands.  March 31 is right around the corner, so make sure to tell your friends and family to follow if you want a chance to vote on the name of the sequel! 

Blog post coming tomorrow.  G'night for now! 

Feelings in Writing

Ah winter.  You come in and trash the place with no apologies.  This winter in New England has been torturous to say the least.  Over 40 inches of snow so far and we’re not done.  The snow banks are so high it’s been like driving through dirty clouds-you’re not sure what’s around the bend and you can only hope there isn’t a car or pedestrian there in your blind path.  Winter has made going up and down my steep, mountain-like driveway feel like bumper bowling; my car is the bowling ball and the driveway is as slippery as the lane.  Winter makes me become reclusive because the weather is so not worth the frustration.  But it’s New England, and year after year we gripe about this.  If we truly hated it, we’d have moved already, so I’ll end my rant.

Lots going on inside and outside of my head lately, both creatively and actually-a very mobile baby, a husband I rarely see thanks to his job and commute, issues with friends, family drama, and of course, the snow.  What does that mean for my sequel?  It means its taking a dark and crazy turn. 

Not that I insert my real-life situations in my writing (I write realistic fiction, not fiction based on reality), but when I’m having issues or difficulties, it’s only natural my protagonist, Lexi, may suffer too.  Why?  Because she’s real to me, and all people have their issues.  I create issues to keep her real.  So if I’m feeling lonely and Lexi’s surrounded by friends and family, I don’t feel like I’m writing realistically.  I like to write close to my feelings, but only to the point where I can connect and relate.  When I read fiction, I still want to escape my own world and slip into the story, after all.

I don’t need my feelings to drive my writing forward (I can write a novel without an ounce of my feelings making their way in, like an actor can successfully portray a character without ever experiencing any of that character’s life or emotions as their own), but certain moods/emotions can help make a good story better.  If I get completely out of my own head, sure, I could write a whole realistic story based on rainbows and clouds and end it with happily-ever-after, but that would be boring to me.  I love real, visceral, believable stories.  And the same works in reverse.  If Lexi (or any protagonist I create) is experiencing something I may not have, I find a way to get to her level and feel how she feels in a form of method acting. 

I believe Reality TV is hugely successful because people want to escape their own reality without leaving reality.  It’s also why tabloids sell and paparazzi exist.  We want to be immersed in other people’s lives and dramas, even when some of it is scripted to amp it up.  To end my babbling, I’m saying a big part of my creativity is intertwined with my emotions.  I’m feeling dark, lost, conflicted, raw and emotional, so if I start writing out my sequel today, it’s going down that same path-tons of (good) drama, raw emotions and dark, twisty mental places, very afflicted.  The scenes I’ve compiled and the dialogue I’ve written thus far can be in line with these feelings.  And I have a feeling my readers will love every word of it.

Music may inspire me, but my emotions drive me.      

A taste of what's to come

Because we've reached the first benchmark in the new challenge, here's the reward:

He used his pale, bony fingers to lift my chin so I was looking in to his dark blue eyes. “In time, you’ll find out. But for now, I’m not even a memory.”

Want more?  10 more until the next one (70 to the grand finale-a full excerpt).  And yes, I am using the combine totals from this blog, Facebook and Twitter again.

Hope you liked it!

Bucket List item is revealed!

First off, kudos to June M. of Massachusetts for solving the clues!  Great job.  I had a feeling the last clue would give it away, ha-ha. 

Before I tell you what it is, here are the previous clues:

1.        It’s something I came close to accomplishing in my previous career path before I retired. 

2.       It involves training

3.       It’s in public

4.       It involves sports

5.       It’s patriotic

Oh boy.  My heart is beating faster than a hummingbird's wings.
IF I succeed in my goal of being published...*deep breath* I will attempt to sing the National Anthem at a professional sporting event.

Which one?  Well, most likely a Celtics or Red Sox game.  I'd include the Bruins, but with my history, I'd probably fall on the ice and make it on You Tube and all the highlight reels.  I'd try for a Patriots game (since they are my FAVORITE team), but that's more people than I can handle.  Singing in front of over 20,000 people with my anxiety is going to be a feat in itself.  I've wanted to do this since I was a little girl though.  I was thisclose to sending in my demo to do this when I was 19 years old, but my ever charming self-deprecation set in and I chickened out; I soon after retired from pursuing a professional singing career (due to personal reasons) and I've regretted it ever since.

I believe that no matter what the dream, if you want it bad enough, you should go for it, no matter how young or old.  With hard work and dedication, success of some degree will always be the reward.  So that means if I'm going to do this, its back to vocal training for me!  I'm a bit rusty; it’s been almost 10 years since my last professional lesson.  Let’s hope I still have range; I’m gonna need it! 

I had a lot of fun with this challenge and I hope you did too.  With that off my plate, its time for the next one! 

For every 10 followers, I will post something from my novel- a line of dialogue, a character description, etc.  Once I reach 150 followers, I will post an excerpt from Unnatural. 

Oh, and we’re only 8 followers away from the first novel post. 

Until next time, folks!

The Final Hint in the "Bucket List" follower challenge

-It's patriotic-

9 more followers to the big reveal as well as to the next challenge.  Remember, if you think you know what the answer is, send me an email first to confirm at my address listed at the right of this page.  If you're correct, I'll reveal to all and give you a shout out for a job well done!

A site update:  I now have a direct address to my facebook page.  You can either access it through here on the right-hand side of the home page, or simply go to: www.facebook.com/crowleykt to follow me there.  And of course, I am also on Twitter @KTCrowley.

Get excited; I know I am!

Here's the hint I promised last night

Here it is:

-It involves sports-

10 more followers to the next hint and 20 more to the reveal! 

After the reveal, I'll post another follower challenge in which the end result will be an excerpt from my novel. 

The big challenge I mentioned in December still stands; if I can reach 1000 followers by the end of March, I'll open a poll to vote on the possible title of the sequel.  It’s a far-fetched challenge, I know, but I'm curious to see how many readers want to be a part of choosing its name.  I think it’s a pretty cool way to involve my readers since, after all, you'll be reading it.  Who knows, this series could fulfill my dreams of great success and you could play a part in that.  ;-)  

My office, sadly, is still a work in progress.  It’s halfway there, which I'm happy to report.  Even if I can't start the actual writing process, I am doing my research, which is a huge factor in making a story and its locations, etc. believable.  I don't enjoy the research part so much, but I'm getting it done and out of the way so once I'm able to, I can focus completely on the story. 

I learned recently I have readers in twelve countries to date.  That is not only cool and amazing, but inspiring as well.  Knowing what I'm writing reaches that far is truly awesome.  Again, I thank everyone who reads this blog and follows me.  This novel (and series) is for a specific genre but I wrote it for readers of all types and for all ages.  It’s universal, like all of you, and when the time comes to release it I hope you see that and enjoy it as much I have enjoyed writing it.



  

The First Post of the New Year...

Its 2011 and I'm so excited.  This is going to be a huge year (I hope) and I'm grateful to have my readers along for the ride.

Just a short post today to say I'm hard at work compiling scenes and dialogue for the untitled sequel.  My brain literally won't shut off, its insane how much I've come up with already.  Now I have to organize my thoughts and mold it into a complete story, which means I have a lot more nooks and crannies to fill in between what I have so far.

Unnatural was written pretty much start to finish with the exception of one scene, which is the idea that kicked off the novel.  For this one I'm a bit more scattered.  I've built the characters, the world, etc.; in the second novel I have to make that world continue to spin and grow without going overboard or killing it.  It’s a fragile process.  I can't jump in and keep the story moving, I have to weave in bits and pieces of the first novel to help keep the reader in the world with the most important jump off information.  It may sound easy to some but it’s actually not.  I have a novel that's over 350 pages and only a fraction of that needs to be peppered in to the sequel-in the right places to boot.  It’s logistical and strategic-sorta.  I have my work cut out for me.  I relish it.

My official sequel-writing kick off date is set for Monday.  I'm moving my office from one part of my home to another so that date is tentative pending its completion.  I'm so eager to get to it that I'll be running on all cylinders this weekend to get it ready for then.  I can’t wait!

By the way, 3 more fans to the next hint.  Have I mentioned how awesome my readers are?  ; - )


  

A fun challenge for the New Year

Something for the New Year:

It's a big one. If I can get 1,000 followers (using the combine totals like before) by February/March, I'll hold a vote to decide the possible title of the sequel-fun, right?!  Spread the good word!

I should mention that if you follow this blog page anonymously, it does not count toward the total-sorry!  I, unfortunately, can't see how many anonymous (private) followers there are.  If you're one of those, thanks for supporting me!  Good news is if you decide to publicly follow this blog, I don't list my followers on the page for your privacy.  If you want to be counted toward the total but still wish to remain anonymous on the follower list, feel free to send me an email at the address to the right.  =)

Thanks for your support and Happy New Year!  I have a feeling 2011 is going to be fabulous...

Another Hint in time for the Holidays!

So excited, 10 more followers means another hint for my readers!

-Its in public-

You know the drill-10 more fans to the next hint (if you don't know what this is about, please see my post titled "Bucket List" to fill you in on the fun). 

I appreciate the support so much, especially as I approach what I hope to be the final step before the finish line (which is getting a publishing deal).  Thank you to everyone whose been spreading the word and to my new readers, welcome!  I hope you enjoy what I have to say.

Thanks again and please keep spreading the word.  The more followers, the better!  ;-) 

Happy Holidays everyone!  =)

Another Hint...

Its time for a another hint!

-It involves training.-

10 more followers to the next one.  Remember, I'm using the combine totals from this blog, facebook and twitter so be sure to spread the word-I can use all the support I can get! 

If I don't post again before the holidays, I hope everyone has a safe and joyous holiday season.  =)