TITLE: Brake Fluid, Blood & Body Bags
Genre: YA Contemporary Logline
Six months after the party where a twisted bet sparked desire and revenge, one teen is dead. Now a nameless, gender-ambiguous teen rides shotgun with Triss, the driver of the car and situation, on a mission to dump the corpse of a classmate whose death they might have, sort of, maybe had something to do with.
I keep saying I love this entire thing. I curious as to how Triss is the driver of the situation? Is the party important, or could you just open with '...after a twisted bet sparked desire and revenge, one teen is dead'? I love the last line.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
This is very compelling. You've made every word count. I'm hooked!
ReplyDeleteI totally love this logline! It paints an intriging picture. I do like Miller's idea for the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this is a very intriguing logline, but I wonder if the sentences could be rearranged to create a stronger one with less ambiguity in regards to Triss as the "driver of the car and situation."
ReplyDeleteI agree with Joseph. This is a very intriguing logline. I would take out the, "the driver of the car and situation". I don't think the logline needs it and we will learn this when we read the story.
ReplyDeleteI would read the first 5 pages. Great Job!