TITLE: Hope
GENRE: Fantasy
When software engineer, Kathryn, joins the knighthood on a parallel
world, she struggles not only to maintain her sense of self, but to
prevent creatures from reaching Earth and turning it into an
all-they-can-eat buffet.
Kathryn Merlangton stared at the vase cradling the dying roses. Two
red blooms bowed over the white sympathy card like mourners looking
down upon a casket. She drew in the cloying smell of the flowers and
let her gaze fall to the eyes of the bear hugging the vase. Its
accusing regard made her tighten her grip on the countertop to remain
standing.
The thumping of a tail against the hardwood floor saved her from the
downward spiral and brought the ache of her shoulders to the forefront
of her mind. Groaning from the weight, she lowered her laptop backpack
to the floor with painful hands. Her carpal tunnel forced her to carry
around her livelihood like a teenager. Dargo, her mother's—her—timid
Doberman remained on his pillow. His lack of a proper greeting made
her suspicious, but the trail of mail leading the way confirmed his
guilt.
Stepping closer, Kathryn followed her mortgage and electric bill. The
trunk of Rachel’s purple elephant reached for air from beneath Dargo’s
paw. Kathryn rescued Ella with a shaking hand. The tempo of Dargo’s
tail increased, but he cringed into his pillow. Ella stared at her
with only one eye. A crash from outside saved Dargo from her wrath as
he jumped to his feet with a whine.
Damn raccoons. Or with her luck, it would be a bear this time. She
welcomed the distraction.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Hangover Round 1 Entry #9
Title: Replacement Reality
Genre: Light Sci-Fi
When Sam wins an alternate reality she doesn't want, she knows it means losing her mind and her connection to everyone she loves. Sam must race against the clock and evade a man from her past to save herself.
I look down at the menu. Happiness tonic. Love shots. Anti-anxiety smoothie. Enticing, I think, but I don't like my food messing with my brain. All I want is a little reminder of home: good old-fashioned pancakes that don't have an aftertaste of broccoli like the ones in the academy's cafeteria.
Aiden follows everyone in restaurant as though he is Clark Kent, ready to come to my rescue when needed. Annoying, I think. Telling him to bug off wouldn't really be fair though since I am the only reason he is here. Breaking rules isn't really his thing--especially for something as simple as from-the-box pancakes.
Aiden remains focused on the door when the cuff of my blouse beeps, indicating the arrival of my class schedule. I don't bother to look. I haven't had pancakes for over six months now. It's taken me that long to build up the courage to come here.
The waitress smacks her gum as she places a few glass bottles of syrup in the center of the table. "Well, aren't you a lucky one," she says as she points at the cuff of my blouse. "Last thing you need is a happiness tonic. You must be thrilled. I'm on the replacement reality waiting list. Still nothing though. Gotta work at this joint just to pay for all the therapy until I get it. What I wouldn't give for a perfect past."
Aiden's eyes snap back to our table as he grabs at my wrist for a closer look.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #8
Title: Great Uncle Gutenberg
Genre: Upper MG Historical Fiction
Twelve-year-old Elsa Humbrecht must decide what her great-uncle Johann
Gutenberg's priceless invention of moveable type is worth to her when
a moneylender threatens to shut down Gutenberg's printing workshop.
Chapter 1 – August 26, 1452
I looked backwards for a long time as we drove out of Frankfurt. First
my father and little sister vanished as the cart rounded a corner. My
younger brothers ran behind the cart for a while until they were too
tired to follow. We drove through the bumpy, winding city streets
until we reached the city walls. I watched as Frankfurt became a gray
mist of spires that finally faded into clouds. When there was nothing
left to see behind us, I turned around to face the road ahead.
The sun climbed higher in the sky. It struggled to shine through the
clouds that had been hanging over the countryside for nearly a week.
The longer we were on the road, the stronger the light became, until
it broke through the seams of the clouds and made sweeping shadows
cross our path.
“I knew we’d have good traveling weather,” Lorenz said from his seat
next to me in the cart. “There’s nothing worse than trying to drive
these carts in a rainstorm.”
At that moment, I wished for rain because it would have hidden the
tears that I was trying my best to hold back. It would do no good to
cry and Lorenz would think I was an infant, not a grown girl of
twelve. I needed to be strong to make my family proud.
Genre: Upper MG Historical Fiction
Twelve-year-old Elsa Humbrecht must decide what her great-uncle Johann
Gutenberg's priceless invention of moveable type is worth to her when
a moneylender threatens to shut down Gutenberg's printing workshop.
Chapter 1 – August 26, 1452
I looked backwards for a long time as we drove out of Frankfurt. First
my father and little sister vanished as the cart rounded a corner. My
younger brothers ran behind the cart for a while until they were too
tired to follow. We drove through the bumpy, winding city streets
until we reached the city walls. I watched as Frankfurt became a gray
mist of spires that finally faded into clouds. When there was nothing
left to see behind us, I turned around to face the road ahead.
The sun climbed higher in the sky. It struggled to shine through the
clouds that had been hanging over the countryside for nearly a week.
The longer we were on the road, the stronger the light became, until
it broke through the seams of the clouds and made sweeping shadows
cross our path.
“I knew we’d have good traveling weather,” Lorenz said from his seat
next to me in the cart. “There’s nothing worse than trying to drive
these carts in a rainstorm.”
At that moment, I wished for rain because it would have hidden the
tears that I was trying my best to hold back. It would do no good to
cry and Lorenz would think I was an infant, not a grown girl of
twelve. I needed to be strong to make my family proud.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #7
TITLE: Savage Jungle
GENRE: Middle-grade Science Fiction
GENRE: Middle-grade Science Fiction
Twelve-year-old techie Kreith and his uncle are stranded in an alien jungle with some of the deadliest animal species in the universe. After he gets separated from his injured uncle, Kreith must find an abandoned research facility to call for help and get them out alive.
I rip the wrapping paper off the present without removing the bow, lift the lid off the large cardboard box, and peer inside. A small chip rests on the bottom.
“What’s—?”
“It’s a book,” Uncle Tonas says, eyes wide in his thick-jawed, tightly muscled face. “Go on, download it.” He leans forward, monstrous broad shoulders and all, a cigar between his pointer and middle finger. The total opposite of me. Sure, I’m only twelve years old, but my overly large black sweatshirt and baggy jeans hide the fact I’m as skinny as Uncle Tonas’s pinky finger.
As I pick up the tiny chip and insert it into my Multipurpose Bracelet, I feel his gaze as my parents look on from the couch. My MB registers the chip, and asks me if I would like to download the book The Top 200 Most Treacherous Creatures in the Universe.
“Yes,” I say, and it starts to download. I turn to Uncle Tonas and force out, “Sounds val.” Slang for “valuable resources,” they’re all anybody cares about these days now that humans have explored every planet in the universe.
But don’t get me wrong. The book really will be a val read, especially since I live on the most boring planet in the universe. But I’m confused. Uncle Tonas usually gets me the coolest presents.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #6
TITLE: The Legacy of the Eye
GENRE: Science Fiction
On a school-planet supposed to value merit over birthright, the top graduate with a degree in Governance discovers that all headmasters came from the same lineage and that the girl he just kissed is next in line. A self-imposed exile could thwart his parents’ plan to marry him onto a throne that shouldn't exist--if he can evade the bait to bring him home.
"Cat, we're stepping into our future and you're not even paying attention."
Catrine’s hand halted, palm pressed against the cool surface of the heavy wood door. She raised her eyebrows at David and made no further motion to exit the main building of the Academy.
"Our future doesn't start for another couple of weeks," she said.
They were allowed to leave the school that day because the council had granted them an audience. Graduation was still two weeks away.
"You're wrong. This is it. Today we make history." David pushed the door open and the mid-afternoon light rushed into the hall.
She chuckled. "We should wait until the council approves the Tutor Program before we celebrate."
"Why would they reject it? You wrote a great proposal. The argumentation is flawless."
"Just because you couldn't find any faults, doesn't mean the council won't."
They walked toward the front gates of the Academy. The wooden bars stood wide open and seemed more decorative than a true barrier to their exit. Catrine’s eyes were still adjusting to the brightness, but they took in the novelty of her surroundings. This was the first time either student had left the school since their enrollment at the age of two. They were both eighteen now, but Catrine did not feel as ready to conquer the galaxy as David was. Her insides were twisted in knots. She had eaten hardly anything all day. But she would not let her nervousness show--not even to her best friend.
GENRE: Science Fiction
On a school-planet supposed to value merit over birthright, the top graduate with a degree in Governance discovers that all headmasters came from the same lineage and that the girl he just kissed is next in line. A self-imposed exile could thwart his parents’ plan to marry him onto a throne that shouldn't exist--if he can evade the bait to bring him home.
"Cat, we're stepping into our future and you're not even paying attention."
Catrine’s hand halted, palm pressed against the cool surface of the heavy wood door. She raised her eyebrows at David and made no further motion to exit the main building of the Academy.
"Our future doesn't start for another couple of weeks," she said.
They were allowed to leave the school that day because the council had granted them an audience. Graduation was still two weeks away.
"You're wrong. This is it. Today we make history." David pushed the door open and the mid-afternoon light rushed into the hall.
She chuckled. "We should wait until the council approves the Tutor Program before we celebrate."
"Why would they reject it? You wrote a great proposal. The argumentation is flawless."
"Just because you couldn't find any faults, doesn't mean the council won't."
They walked toward the front gates of the Academy. The wooden bars stood wide open and seemed more decorative than a true barrier to their exit. Catrine’s eyes were still adjusting to the brightness, but they took in the novelty of her surroundings. This was the first time either student had left the school since their enrollment at the age of two. They were both eighteen now, but Catrine did not feel as ready to conquer the galaxy as David was. Her insides were twisted in knots. She had eaten hardly anything all day. But she would not let her nervousness show--not even to her best friend.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #5
Title: BECOMING JINN
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Wishing doesn’t make it so — Azra does. Turning sixteen opens the door to Azra’s Jinn ancestry. But when she skirts the rules, she is forced to choose between the safety of her family and the boy she loves. See, when genies are involved, there’s always a trick.
The barking dog ruins my plan. My plan to skip today by sleeping through it.
I search the foot of my bed for my comforter and burrow under the soft down, grateful for its instant warmth. My body craves heat. In all the ways I take after my mother, an intolerance for cold is the one that bothers me the least.
I will myself to fall back to sleep. Even if I can’t sleep, I can still choose to skip today. The day doesn’t have to begin. All I have to do is stay in bed. All I have to do is not open my eyes. All I have to do is pretend. Fortunately, being skilled in pretending is another way in which I take after my mother.
The barking stops. I turn toward the open window and breathe in the lilacs blooming on the bush in our backyard. Along with the sweet fragrance comes the pollen.
I sneeze. I cough. I open my eyes. And the day begins. My birthday begins.
I drink from the water glass on my nightstand until my throat is no longer dry. Clank! The noise as I settle the glass back down startles me. This is when I notice the silver bangle clamped around my wrist. And I thought I was the one in control of starting my day. I never had control. The bracelet assures that I never will.
This is how my life changes. While I am unconscious.
Though my Jinn ancestry means magic has always been inside me, the rules don’t allow me to begin drawing upon it until the day I turn sixteen. The day I receive my silver bangle. The day I officially become a genie. Today.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #4
Title: ENTROPIA
Genre: Comic Fantasy
A misanthropic stamp collector wins a tour of his own pariah nation, sponsored by an overly eager Tourist Board. But when his foreign pen pal, welder Natalie, joins him, nothing goes as planned.
“Geography,” Chase Windborn chose with a smug smile. He had his opponent now. No one could beat Chase at his own game.
“Geography it is!” shouted the emcee. “All right, Mr. Poncey. For one thousand Entros and a chance to win the grand prize, locate your hometown on this map.”
All the color drained from Mr. Poncey’s face. Only moments before, Entros undreamed of had been within his easy reach. Chase had lost ground in the People category. The score was tied, and now this had to happen. Mr. Poncey gulped and began to walk unsteadily toward the map. All of Entropia was watching. It would be small comfort to him to know that the rest of Entropia would be in his exact predicament had they been on the stage.
He began to trace small, searching circles all over the map. Nothing seemed familiar to him.
“You have ten seconds left, Mr. Poncey.”
Mr. Poncey wiped the sweat dripping from his forehead and blinked rapidly. He started to make a tentative stab, but changed his mind halfway and landed on the biggest dot, Entropia’s capital.
“Oh sorry, Mr. Poncey, Obsolescia isn’t where you’re from now is it? It looks like it’s up to you, Mr. Windborn. If you can point out your hometown on this map, you’ll win not only another one thousand Entros, but the grand prize. Can you do it, Mr. Windborn?”
Chase tried hard to look magnanimous, but a wild smirk burst across his face as he all but ran to the map and jabbed his finger on his hometown, Mt. Cyanide.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #3
TITLE: The Bridge Maker
GENRE: Fantasy
When Linh discovers that dark magicians from an ancient, parallel world named Lau Dai La are searching for a magic crossbow to conquer Earth, she must locate it before they do, or they will kill her family.
She slammed her textbook shut. Something stirred inside Linh, some strong desire to break out of her mundane life and escape somewhere. Somewhere like a mystical world she had read from her fairies’ books where she could play with elves, fairies, and other magical creatures and not think about school. What’s the point of doing homework at home just to forget everything a week later?
She threw her assignments into her schoolbag, pulled out her notebook and colored pencils, and opened to a page to finish her horse sketch. Below the drawing, she wrote, For Mom. This would make her mother happy. She heard soft footsteps approaching the study room.
“Do you need help with your homework, dear?” Linh’s mother’s voice came from behind her chair.
Linh hesitated. “Ummm.”
“Oh, that’s such a beautiful drawing! May I take it with me?”
Linh turned around and nodded. Her mother thanked and hugged her, a hug so soft and gentle it warmed her heart.
“Can I ride horses again?” Linh asked. “I want to go back to summer camp.”
Her mother’s mouth drew into a straight line. “Not this summer.”
"Please, please Mom?” Linh’s throat constricted like a twisted chain. “I want to become an equestrian.”
Linh’s mom fell silent for several heartbeats and stroke Linh’s hair. “I’m happy that you love horses, but it’s not a proper job.”
“But I spoke to girls older than me who work with horses there.”
“You’re too young to work, dear. You need to concentrate on school and get good grades.”
Hangover Round 1 Entry #2
TITLE: Unwritten
GENRE: Contemporary Romance
When her estranged mother launches a smear campaign that threatens to unveil a tragic secret from her past, singer/songwriter Katherine Hayes finds unlikely refuge with college professor Josh Randall. Josh sees through her defenses to her battered heart, but is unwilling to take chances with his own. Now, Kate must overcome her traumatic past to repair her reputation and fight for her chance at love.
Finally. Kate hurried toward the door ahead. Scattered rays of sunlight filtered through its glazed window, accompanied by the faint chatter of the crowd gathered outside.
She squared her shoulders and smiled.
“We’re on our way.” Jenn’s voice echoed in the hallway behind her. “Yep, I’ll tell her.”
Kate glanced back at her assistant. “Tell me what?”
Jenn pocketed the phone and tucked a wisp of red hair behind her ear. “To head straight home. Harry’s waiting at the apartment.”
Kate’s brow furrowed. She didn’t have a meeting scheduled with her manager today.
Mick pushed the door open ahead of her, positioning his muscular body between Kate and the waiting fans as she stepped outside.
“There she is...Katherine Hayes! Katherine!” Squeals of excitement filled the air. Cameras flashed. Bodies surged toward her.
Kate turned toward the small crowd gathered by the rear doors of the studio on Sixty-Seventh Street where she’d just taped her appearance on Leilani Live. Her gaze settled on a girl in front with blonde pigtails and a purple jacket, bouncing in light-up sneakers as she waved and screamed Kate’s name.
Kate grinned and blew her a kiss.
Jenn rested a hand on her arm. “Wave and keep walking. Harry’s orders.”
Kate sucked in a breath and narrowed her eyes at Jenn. Her team had been acting strangely all morning, and now they wanted her to leave without greeting the fans? “Like hell.”
She headed straight for the girl with blonde pigtails.
GENRE: Contemporary Romance
When her estranged mother launches a smear campaign that threatens to unveil a tragic secret from her past, singer/songwriter Katherine Hayes finds unlikely refuge with college professor Josh Randall. Josh sees through her defenses to her battered heart, but is unwilling to take chances with his own. Now, Kate must overcome her traumatic past to repair her reputation and fight for her chance at love.
Finally. Kate hurried toward the door ahead. Scattered rays of sunlight filtered through its glazed window, accompanied by the faint chatter of the crowd gathered outside.
She squared her shoulders and smiled.
“We’re on our way.” Jenn’s voice echoed in the hallway behind her. “Yep, I’ll tell her.”
Kate glanced back at her assistant. “Tell me what?”
Jenn pocketed the phone and tucked a wisp of red hair behind her ear. “To head straight home. Harry’s waiting at the apartment.”
Kate’s brow furrowed. She didn’t have a meeting scheduled with her manager today.
Mick pushed the door open ahead of her, positioning his muscular body between Kate and the waiting fans as she stepped outside.
“There she is...Katherine Hayes! Katherine!” Squeals of excitement filled the air. Cameras flashed. Bodies surged toward her.
Kate turned toward the small crowd gathered by the rear doors of the studio on Sixty-Seventh Street where she’d just taped her appearance on Leilani Live. Her gaze settled on a girl in front with blonde pigtails and a purple jacket, bouncing in light-up sneakers as she waved and screamed Kate’s name.
Kate grinned and blew her a kiss.
Jenn rested a hand on her arm. “Wave and keep walking. Harry’s orders.”
Kate sucked in a breath and narrowed her eyes at Jenn. Her team had been acting strangely all morning, and now they wanted her to leave without greeting the fans? “Like hell.”
She headed straight for the girl with blonde pigtails.
Hangover Round 1 Entry #1
Title: Beyond The River
Genre: Literary Fiction
1999: Brad Lucas has just made a fortune selling the dot-com he started with his domineering business partner, Dean. As a parting gesture, despite their strained friendship, Dean invites Brad to go on a fly-fishing trip in the wilds of Northern California. When Dean’s elaborate Bigfoot prank turns tragic, Brad must not only save himself, but also decide if Dean is worth saving.
The narrow path led up and away from the rushing water to where the forest thwarted the sun and the river’s hiss diminished until it was no longer heard. Twigs snapped beneath Brad Lucas’ boots. He listened intently for crying birds, foraging squirrels, chirping tree frogs—any sign that everything was okay. As a boy, his father had told him, “When the woods go silent, a predator is on the prowl. Even if you can’t see it.”
Perhaps he was being paranoid. Then again, maybe he wasn’t. Brad parted his lips and whistled sharply.
A few feet ahead, Dean Romans stiffened with surprise and halted in the sun dappled shade. “What the hell was that for?”
“Bears. If they’re around, they’ll move on.”
“Please provide advance warning next time.” Frenzied gnats circled Dean’s head and he swatted at them.
Here it comes, Brad thought. He’s finally going to complain about how stupid it is to be out in the middle of nowhere.
Dean snatched a water bottle from his backpack, drank, and then grinned, his gleaming white teeth contrasting with his swollen black eye. Brad was tired of following Dean—he’d been doing it for too many years now. “How much farther?” he demanded.
“I must tell you,” Dean said, sauntering off. “I haven’t been totally up front with you about this trip.”
Of course, Brad thought. You’ve never been up front about anything.
“What do you mean?”
Dean glanced back triumphantly. “Patience. It’s all part of the surprise.”
Genre: Literary Fiction
1999: Brad Lucas has just made a fortune selling the dot-com he started with his domineering business partner, Dean. As a parting gesture, despite their strained friendship, Dean invites Brad to go on a fly-fishing trip in the wilds of Northern California. When Dean’s elaborate Bigfoot prank turns tragic, Brad must not only save himself, but also decide if Dean is worth saving.
The narrow path led up and away from the rushing water to where the forest thwarted the sun and the river’s hiss diminished until it was no longer heard. Twigs snapped beneath Brad Lucas’ boots. He listened intently for crying birds, foraging squirrels, chirping tree frogs—any sign that everything was okay. As a boy, his father had told him, “When the woods go silent, a predator is on the prowl. Even if you can’t see it.”
Perhaps he was being paranoid. Then again, maybe he wasn’t. Brad parted his lips and whistled sharply.
A few feet ahead, Dean Romans stiffened with surprise and halted in the sun dappled shade. “What the hell was that for?”
“Bears. If they’re around, they’ll move on.”
“Please provide advance warning next time.” Frenzied gnats circled Dean’s head and he swatted at them.
Here it comes, Brad thought. He’s finally going to complain about how stupid it is to be out in the middle of nowhere.
Dean snatched a water bottle from his backpack, drank, and then grinned, his gleaming white teeth contrasting with his swollen black eye. Brad was tired of following Dean—he’d been doing it for too many years now. “How much farther?” he demanded.
“I must tell you,” Dean said, sauntering off. “I haven’t been totally up front with you about this trip.”
Of course, Brad thought. You’ve never been up front about anything.
“What do you mean?”
Dean glanced back triumphantly. “Patience. It’s all part of the surprise.”
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
"The Hangover" Round 1 submission window now closed! Enter Round 2 NOW!
So with Round 1 filling up like a jug under a running tap (thanks!), and with over 300 people seeking an opportunity for critique on their Baker's Dozen 2012 entry, I've decided to open up another round of "The Hangover". Why? Because I love you guys so much and want nothing but success for all of you, just like the amazing Miss Authoress Anon.
Here we go!
TITLE: Your Title HereGENRE: Your Genre Here
(Logline and first 250 here).
A confirmation email will be sent, but it may not be right away. Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window. Once I receive 50 entries, an email will be sent to notify you if you didn't make the cut, so get yours in quickly! Round one filled up in just under 36 hours, so don't delay. And again, if you enter, please critique five other entries, so that it's fair for everyone. And please, feel free to stop by and offer your support and wonderful insight to those in Round 1 starting December 17.
Here we go!
Please continue to send submissions to ktcritiques [AT] gmail.com. Window closes at 10 PM EST on Saturday night, December 22. I will post the second round of entries on Wednesday, December 26, at KTCROWLEY.COM for critiquing.
In the subject, please state “BD ENTRY 2".
In the subject, please state “BD ENTRY 2".
Submit your logline and first 250 words just like when submitting to Miss Snark's First Victim. Your submission should look like this:
TITLE: Your Title HereGENRE: Your Genre Here
(Logline and first 250 here).
A confirmation email will be sent, but it may not be right away. Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window. Once I receive 50 entries, an email will be sent to notify you if you didn't make the cut, so get yours in quickly! Round one filled up in just under 36 hours, so don't delay. And again, if you enter, please critique five other entries, so that it's fair for everyone. And please, feel free to stop by and offer your support and wonderful insight to those in Round 1 starting December 17.
Keep rocking, you awesome bunch of writers. Got questions? Post them in the comments or shoot me an email. I'll be checking both frequently.
P.S. If you're not a follower of my blog, I'd love it if you'd follow my journey and join the fun! There are several ways via the right-hand side of the screen. I try to offer open critique rounds monthly to help writers like you perfect your work. Our already amazing writing community only gets better when we help each other. :)
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