BD One Last Chance Logline #1

TITLE: The Duel
GENRE: Historical Romantic Suspense /1730s Britain

A Scottish baronet’s daughter anticipates a marriage of convenience to an aristocratic cousin until her aunt’s matchmaking goes awry and a rakish Lowland baron vies with his sworn enemy for her affections. He doesn’t expect to lose his heart or find her leading a Jacobite conspiracy while he spies for the Crown. Can he save the Prime Minister without betraying her confidence, or will exacting his revenge on her cousin cost him her love?

Submissions Window Is Now Closed!!

The submission window for the Baker's Dozen "One Last Chance" Round is now closed as we've reach 60 entries.  Sorry to those of you who didn't make it.  Stop by tomorrow morning at 8 AM EDT to read and critique the entries!!

And remember to stop by my blog often as I offer rounds like this almost monthly so that everyone has a open, friendly forum to receive valuable feedback on their work from our peers.

Thanks and good luck, everyone!!  So proud of each of you.

One More Chance, Baker's Dozen Hopefuls!!!

This is what you've been waiting for, friends!  I have the honor and pleasure of hosting another very special critique round (I love this!), in support of the hopeful entrants of this year's Baker's Dozen, hosted by the generous and wonderful Miss Authoress.  If you entered her "Logline Critique Round #3" or weren't lucky enough to make it in any of her 3 lottery rounds, you may submit your logline here for critiquing.  This round is open only to the entrants of round 3 and hopefuls who did not make it in any of the 3 rounds previously offered via Authoress. 

Please send submissions to ktcritiques [AT] gmail.com by 10 PM EDT Friday night, October 26.  I will post them Saturday morning, October 27, at KTCROWLEY.COM for critiquing.  I'll accept up to 60 entries.

In the subject, please state “BD LOGLINE” (and your original post number, if this is a revision).

Submit your logline just like when submitting to Miss Snark's First Victim.  Your submission should look like this:

TITLE: Your Title Here
GENRE: Your Genre Here

(Logline here.)

A confirmation email will be sent, but it may not be right away.  Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window.  Once I receive 60 entries, an email will be sent to notify you if you didn't make the cut, so get those loglines in quickly!

If you enter, please critique five other entries, so that it's fair for everyone (it's also a great learning opportunity to polish your critiquing skills before the big event).  And spread the word please; the more critiques, the merrier!  Let's help everyone involved get as much feedback as possible. 

Good luck, everyone!  Can't wait to read some more fantastic loglines.

P.S. If you're not a follower of my blog, I'd love it if you'd follow my journey and join the fun!  There are several ways via the right-hand side of the screen.  I try to offer open critique rounds monthly to help writers like you perfect your work.  Our already amazing writing community only gets better when we help each other.  :)

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #18

Original Post #36

TITLE: CATCHER'S KEEPER

GENRE: ALTERNATE HISTORICAL FICTION

December 1980. Alden and his brother feel compelled to prevent the attack on John Lennon after learning the killer was inspired by Alden’s published memoir. 

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #17

Original Post #10

Title: Interwoven Deceptions

Genre: Urban Fantasy

A blind educator vows to rescue her students, kidnapped by demons, with the aid of her police detective lover and her mentor. She must also reinstate her psychic talents to travel to the demon world to restore their isolation and stop them from conquering humanity.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #16

Original Post #14

TITLE: TALENTED

GENRE: YA light science-fiction

Gail hopes her life is beginning to order itself for the better. She discovers she has parents--she gets the chance to search for them. She discovers she can control fire--she thinks she's found a support group. There's a problem, though. The Community is hardly a support group. Their plans don’t include having Talenteds like Gail becoming too friendly with the world; and their plans have powerful support.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #15

Original Post #35

TITLE: THE OTHER SIDE OF SILENCE
GENRE: Adult Fantasy

Being kidnapped by the resurrected god of war and watching him raze Yemen wasn't part of Ava's 20th birthday plans. Ava’s panic is even greater than the U.N.’s. Ares mistakenly believes she has powers that will help him become Earth's only god, and intends to marry her. If he discovers she’s completely nonmagical, he'll kill her, but if she escapes, he'll kill her family.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #14

Original Post #33

TITLE: Hunted

GENRE: YA urban fantasy

Fifteen-year-old drama queen Zuza Biss is used to making mountains out of molehills. But when she suddenly develops healing abilities and a tendency to zap people, she finds out what puberty is like for superheros. Now she's being chased by bounty hunters, intent on dragging her to another dimension.  If she doesn't get the knack of controlling her powers, she'll be thrown through a portal into the hands of a criminal collector.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #13

Original Post #13

TITLE : DIYA
GENRE: YA mystery with paranormal elements

Her alcoholic movie star mom provides enough drama for Diya, until her aunt's nearly killed by a weapon belonging to her crush. She faces having to turn him in, or heed his warning – that her aunt was just a pawn. Diya's the intended victim. If she rejects his protection, she'll die at the hands of the real killer, driven by it's centuries-old blood lust to destroy every last member of her Indian birth family.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #12

Original Post #9

TITLE: Misery Loves Company
GENRE: General Fiction

When tragic events and lean times force ten year old Cotton Sparrow
and her family to take up residence in an old abandoned school bus,
she learns first-hand about poverty, hunger and hopelessness. Years
later, when a bitter Cotton returns home for her mother’s funeral, she
seeks overdue retribution against the townspeople for ignoring her
childhood plight while simultaneously recalling the harsh realities of
her mother’s untreated mental illness.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #11

Original Post #40

TITLE: WildFire

GENRE: YA Super-Fantasy Adventure

Zina Casperelli, 16-year-old genius, decides what kind of friend she is when her newest stray – a glowing amnesiac – becomes pivotal in an ancient conflict. She's the only one who sees him as a person rather than a brutal killer or the savior of humanity, and she won't let anyone decide his fate without doing all she can to protect him

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #10

Original Post #3

TITLE: The Looking-Glass House

GENRE: Literary Fiction

Cline, Texas, 1964: When a young nun becomes attracted to one of the pregnant teenage girls in her care, she must find a distraction.  But uncovering a string of murders isn't what she had in mind.  Now unraveling this mystery will endanger the lives of those she loves most, while bringing her closer to the one person she was trying to avoid.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #9

Original Post #32

Title: MAKING ARRANGEMENTS

Genre: Women's Fiction

Battling cancer, Lang Ellis spent her (supposed) final year of life making sure her soon-to-be widowed husband could manage without her. Ha. After he drops dead on the tennis court, Lang, alive and well,  learns one of his many secrets can cost her the most important thing she has: her family.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #8

Original Post #19

Title:  SILVER POOL OF LIGHT

Genre:  MG Fantasy

Eve and Jane, eleven-year-old friends separated by a hundred years, write back and forth to each other across the centuries in a magical diary.  But Jane, who dreams of leaving her Martha’s Vineyard farm, boards a whaling ship that Eve learns is doomed to disaster. Difficult choices Eve faces in the present threaten her chances of saving Jane in the past.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #7

Original Post #25

Title: Blame it on Meryl Streep

Genre: Women's Fiction

At age 28 Laura Sanders has never been in a relationship and given up on love. But when she watches the movie Mamma Mia she suddenly finds the perfect coach to a happier life at her side: Meryl Streep. Nobody but Laura can see and hear imaginary Meryl, but so what? Sometimes you have to lose yourself in a fantasy to fix your reality.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #6

Original Post #4

TITLE: Savage Jungle

GENRE: MG Sci/fi

Twelve-year-old techie Kreith and his uncle are stranded in an alien jungle with some of the deadliest and most evolved animals in the universe, and when Kreith gets separated from his injured uncle, he must rely on himself to find an abandoned research facility to call for help and get them out alive.

BD Round 2 Revised Logine #5

Original Post #20

TITLE: Stairs to the Past

GENRE: YA

 

Seventeen year old Jason goes into the attic of his home and finds himself in 1876. He falls for the maid who works for the 19^th century family that built his house, but struggles to understand why and how he can time travel so that he can see her whenever he wants.  After several surprising revelations from his own history, he decides he was sent to save her from her employer’s treacherous son.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #4

Original Post #29

TITLE: The Diary

GENRE: Historical Fiction

 

Margaret Macrae’s life is a shambles. An abuse victim falsely accused of murdering her mother, without family, money or friends, she knows nothing of her past and fears the future. When her great grandfather’s 200 year old diary mysteriously appears on Mother’s funeral table, she turns to it for answers about who she is. What she finds is a complete surprise.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #3

Original Post #27

TITLE: Endlessly Summer

GENRE: Women's Fiction

When Kira, a lawyer, unexpectedly loses her husband in a mysterious accident, she uncovers his steamy past. As her carefully constructed world falls apart, she realizes if she doesn’t break free from the confines of the boardroom and claim her freedom on a surfboard, she’ll soon forget how to live and love after loss.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #2

Original Post #30

TITLE: Replacement Reality
GENRE: YA light Sci-Fi/Fantasy

Sam knows she should be thrilled when she wins a replacement reality, a perfect alternate life in a glittery high-tech world, but instead feels conflicted.  With only four hours left until she must claim the prize she cannot refuse, Sam shifts between past reflections and the present to try to save the person she already is.

BD Round 2 Revised Logline #1

Original Post #21

TITLE: The Legacy of the Eye
GENRE: Science Fiction

On a school-planet supposed to value merit over birthright, the top graduate of the Governance program discovers that all former headmasters have been from the same lineage and that the girl he just kissed is next in line.

Attention Baker's Dozen Logline Round 2 Participants!

As part of my comeback from maternity leave, I have the honor and pleasure of hosting a very special critique round this month, in support of the hopeful entrants of this year's Baker's Dozen, hosted by the generous and wonderful Miss Authoress.  If you entered her "Logline Critique Round #2", you may submit your revised logline here for further critiquing.  This round is open to only the entrants of that round (Stay tuned to my blog as I may be hosting a round for hopeful participants who did not make it in via the lottery).

Please send submissions to ktcritiques [AT] gmail.com by Wednesday night by 9 PM EDT, October 17.  I will post them Friday night, October 19, at KTCROWLEY.COM for critiquing.

In the subject, please state “BD REVISED LOGLINE” and your original post number.

Submit your logline just like when submitting to Miss Snark's First Victim.  Your submission should look like this:

TITLE: Your Title Here
GENRE: Your Genre Here

(Logline here.)

A confirmation email will be sent, but it may not be right away.  Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window.   

If you enter, please try and critique five other entries, so that it's fair for everyone (it's also a great opportunity to polish your critiquing skills before the big event).  And spread the word please; the more critiques, the merrier!  Let's help everyone involved get as much feedback as possible. 

Good luck, everyone!  Can't wait to read your revisions.

P.S. If you're not a follower of my blog, I'd love it if you'd follow my journey and join the fun!  I try to offer open critique rounds monthly to help writers like you perfect your work.  Our already amazing writing community only gets better when we help each other.  :)

July Anything #11

TITLE: In Transition

GENRE: YA Fantasy First Page

My father was dying and there was nothing I could do to save him.

When I walked into the office, the first thing I saw was the blood.  I’d never seen so much blood before, pooling around his body rapidly on the speckle-tiled floor.  Tears streamed down my face and my heart was pounding.  I tried the phone on his desk but it was dead.  Screaming for help, I prayed someone would help us, save him in the way I couldn’t.  But my voice sounded meek against the sound of my pulse in my ears and I wasn’t sure anyone could hear my pleas.

“DAD!  What happened?!”  I cried out.    

Dad’s face was sweaty and pale, his lively green eyes dimming.  His mouth kept opening and closing in an attempt to breathe, but all he could manage were shallow breaths.  His graying-blonde hair was matted down against his skull.  There were lines around his eyes and in his forehead I had never seen before, his expression not just pained, but torn. 

“HELP!  SOMEONE PLEASE HELP US!!”  My tiny hands weren’t enough to cover the stab wounds in his chest, warm blood seeping through my fingers at an alarmingly rapid pace.  “Dad, tell me what to do!  I can’t, I can’t stop the bleeding!  I keep applying pressure but it just keeps coming!”

 “I’m sorry Kitty-Kat,” He wheezed.  “No one can save me.”

 “No!  No! NO!  You can’t die, please!  I need you, I love you, Dad, please don’t leave me!”  I put my head on his chest, sobbing. 

July Anything #10

TITLE: Imminent
GENRE: YA Paranormal Romance Logline

Seventeen-year-old Alexa discovers, after falling for a new boy, that she's at the center of a paranormal war and must protect humans from her enemies while saving herself from them in the process.

July Anything #9

TITLE: Pox
GENRE: Young Adult Fantasy First Page

I’d never killed a man before, or been this close to one. My nose
brushed his shirt and wrinkled. It was messier than I thought, and
smelled of sweat and blood. He’d been a bear of a man, standing in
front of me, but the dagger slid in right between the ribs, slick and
easy. I tugged it out, and it was all blood and bits of flesh clinging
to the blade. Flecks of bright red freckled my face, and he fell
across my dusty boots. His sword clattered against the stones. Glass
glittered as it fell. It was simple.

I stumbled. My laces were tangled in his fingers. He dragged me back
towards him, blood pooling under his chest, and I kicked out. His neck
cracked and blood bubbled between his broken teeth. Shaking my foot,
his hand fell away. I prodded his cheek, his nose, and held my palm
under his nose. Nothing, and my shoulders slumped. I touched his nose
again. A boy’s face on this barrel-chested body. He’s my age; he was
my age. He was still warm, but my chest was chilled. He was big and
well-fed, and I knew Isaak would never be that tall.  Isa and Isaak
Agnes, wiry and thin like the rest of rabble.

Broken glass littered the ground around him. It sparkled and flashed
in the dying sun. An arrow, black and cracked with age, rolled by his
feet. I reached over him and ran my fingertips over the shaft.
Fire-hardened wood painted black and a steel tip painted over with
gold.

July Anything #8

TITLE:  Butterfly Girl

GENRE:  Upper MG First Page

                      

Madison pulled a marigold out of the vase on the kitchen table and snapped the stem short. 

 “You look handsome, Grandpa,” she said, and stuck the golden-orange blossom in his button hole.

“Thank you, darlin’. He grinned and bent at the waist in a courtly bow. 

Madison smiled.  “Got to make a good impression on the judges.”

             

Grandpa had waxed and polished the old white truck. On the side was a picture of a giant blue ribbon next to The Real McCoy Organic Acres, painted in bright green letters over a dark green shamrock. The truck bumped down the gravel road, tires churning up a cloud of dust, then turned onto the blacktop that led to the highway.

Madison stared out the window and absent mindedly sectioned off a half-inch strand of hair and wove it into a long, honey-brown braid. The dewy fields and orchards blurred by, row after row, mile after mile. An hour later Madison spotted the giant Ferris wheel and then the zipper ride, carousel and mid-way games spreading out around the fairgrounds, with exhibition halls and horse corrals on the perimeter. A red white and blue banner fluttered in the breeze: Oregon State Fair.

Grandpa made his way towards a table near the end of the last row. “Here’s our spot. Number ninety-seven.”

Madison unloaded her box. “I’m going up front to look for Jade.” Jade had been her best friend ever since the day they met at the sandbox in the park, back when Madison lived in town with her mom and dad.

Grandpa shook his head. “Slow down, now. Don’t go running off.”

 “But Grandpa, you promised when I turned twelve I could walk around on my own!”

He pressed his hand to his heart. “What? You don’t want to hang out with your old grandpa?”

 “That’s not what I meant Grandpa, it’s just…”

He winked at her. “You can go around by yourself, just as soon as your friend shows up.”

 

July Anything #7

Title: The Incredible Misadventures of Avery Mann
Genre: MG-Modern Fantasy First Page

The flower garden in Kensington Park made the perfect hiding spot for
three reasons. First, I’d never seen Max, the school bully, or my six
older brothers go anywhere near it. Second, it was on top of a small
hill, which allowed me to spot trouble before it got anywhere near me.
Lastly, it smelled a lot better than Ms. Crabtree’s compost heap—which
also made a good hiding spot, but required nose-plugs and goggles.
It might not be as impenetrable as Superman’s Fortress of Solitude or
high-tech as Batman’s cave, but it was my top-secret hide-out and
nothing could bother me—

SWAT!

A piece of paper dropped out of the sky and smacked me across the face.
Flick, flick, flick!

One of its ragged corners flapped in the wind, stabbing me in the eye.
“Argh!”

Blinking back tears, I yanked the vicious thing off my face, ready to
rip it into subatomic particles, but then I stopped. No, way!
I pressed the squirming flyer against the ground.

Madame Magpie’s Magic Shoppe Grand Opening!
Amazing Magic Tricks! Great Gag Gifts! Unusual Novelties! Curious Curiosities!
Receive a free token for our fortune telling machine with this flyer.
One lucky customer will receive a $100 gift card!

Visions of vanishing boxes, flash powder, and levitating wands floated
through my head. I could buy a lot of magic tricks with $100.
I crept to the edge of the garden and glanced around. Max and my
brothers were nowhere in sight.

July Anything #6

TITLE: Rebel Threads
GENRE: Young Adult Fantasy Query Letter

Seventeen-year-old Adalmund Port lives in a world where magic is woven
and knotted like thread by those who have the eyes to see it. She’s
one of the last in the world who can manipulate these strings.

Adalmund can whistle fire into her hands, vanish with a twist of her
finger, and she’s the perfect weapon because of it. After the
assassination of her nation’s heir, the queen orders Adalmund to
infiltrate a neighboring country and murder the man behind the attack.
But weaving magic takes two hands. Due to a grave wound Adalmund
sustained in the attack, she will never use her right arm again.

Adalmund will not let herself fail her queen, though, and hides her
injury long enough to teleport across the border.

Instead of one murderer, Adalmund finds an army poised to attack her
nation within the week. It would start a war her country couldn’t win,
and Adalmund can’t defeat them on her own since she’s still struggling
to weave magic with only one hand. She swallows her pride and turns to
the mysterious revolutionary, Peace, for help.

A charismatic and violent man able to weave the threads of magic like
Adalmund, Peace is planning a coup against the army threatening her
nation. If she helps his rebellion, he’ll make sure there’s no army
left to attack her country.

To stop a war, she’ll have to start a revolution.

REBEL THREADS is a young adult fantasy of 70,000 words. It is a
standalone book with series potential.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

July Anything #5

TITLE: Storm Bird
GENRE: Picture Book First Line

Near the tip of the longest limb…on the tallest tree. . .of the highest mountain in Puerto Rico a happy parrot named Eco sat watching the sky turn black.

July Anything #4

TITLE: Brake Fluid, Blood & Body Bags

Genre: YA Contemporary Logline

Six months after the party where a twisted bet sparked desire and revenge, one teen is dead. Now a nameless, gender-ambiguous teen rides shotgun with Triss, the driver of the car and situation, on a mission to dump the corpse of a classmate whose death they might have, sort of, maybe had something to do with.

July Anything #3

Title: Rebel Threads
Genre: YA Fantasy Logline

The sardonic young magic weave Adalmund must stop a worldwide war by
starting a revolution. She's not allowed to kill a single soul, but
the whimsical rebel she's working with is too good a target.

July Anything #2

TITLE:   REMEMBRANCE
GENRE:   Paranormal Fantasy (w/romance elements) First Page

It was crazy.  Ludicrous almost, but Arianh knew she’d been here before.  The woods were ripe with musical magic: the birds were chirping louder, the crickets keeping a steady rhythm, soft winds blew through the forest fauna creating rustling sounds.  Energy abounded in these woods.  If you stopped and listened, buried underneath all the woodland sounds, you could hear it; a soft hum. That was the energy of the land.  This is what had called out to her in the pre-dawn hour.

Had it not been for the pesky raven and its interminable caw, Arianh wouldn’t even have found the correct spot.  But she had and it was just like in her dream.  Although in that vision she was younger, had red hair, and strode through these woods with purpose.  The girl in the dream knew where to go and what she was about to do.

Arianh searched the small clearing but in the dim morning light she couldn’t find what it was the young girl had placed her hands on.  All she saw was overgrown brush and cascades of morning glories, jasmine, and trumpet vines.  The smell of heady woods and sweet floral was intoxicating but Arianh was quite sure this was not what she was brought here for. 

A stream of early light slashed its way through the trees, illuminating a slivered portion of the wooded area in a soft glow.  Before taking another step Arianh heard a buzzing sound near her ears and stood quite still.  Hummingbirds – three of them.  They darted around her in playful ease.

July Anything #1

TITLE: Werebeasts
GENRE: Young Adult Fantasy - First Line

Ajay clenched his teeth and sniffed the air. The moon was rising in the east...it wouldn't be long now.

July's "ANYTHING" Critique Round *CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS*

*Please make sure to read the entire post*

This round is for "Anything".  You may enter a logline (up to 100 words), first page (up to 250 words), a 2 page synopsis (up to 500 words), or a query letter (up to 350 words, please omit personal information like your name and address, etc.  Just submit the "meat" of your query).  Your manuscript does not have to be complete to enter this round. 

From Monday, July 23, 2012 at 6:00 PM EDT until Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 6:00 PM EDT, I will accept submissions. I will post them Thursday, July 26, 2012 by 4:00 PM EDT right here at KTCROWLEY.COM for critiquing.
 

Please send submissions to ktcritiques [AT] gmail.com

In the subject, please state “JULY ANYTHING ROUND”

This round I will accept all genres and it is two entries per person, per genre/subgenre (So you can submit 2 adult, 2 YA/MG).  If you are entering two different items, please submit in two seperate emails. 

Please list the TITLE, GENRE and your SCREEN NAME (I will not include screen names in the critique posts, these are for my purposes only.  Your screen name is the name you'll use to critique others in the comments.) above your submission(s) (format it the way you normally would).  Please do not stop in the middle of a sentence.  If you're entry goes over the word limit by a couple of words, that's fine.  If you stop at say, 7 words under it, that's fine, too.

Your submission(s) should look like this:


SCREEN NAME: Your Screen Name Here
TITLE: Your Title Here
GENRE: Your Genre Here

(Submission here.)

Please leave out "chapter one," chapter "titles", etc.  Otherwise, I may count them toward your word count and you could lose some of your entry.

You will receive a confirmation email, but it may not be right away.  Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window.

Please check your submission(s) carefully for typos, grammatical errors, etc. before submitting.  Once the submission is confirmed by email, it is set to automatically post.  Double checking it first will ensure you're writing is critiqued appropriately.  ;-)

If you enter once, you must critique at least 5 other submissions (if there are only five, please critique all entries).  This is so it's fair for everyone involved.  If you've entered twice, critique 10 or all that have been posted if there is less than 10. 

I will accept up to 30 entries.

THIS WILL BE THE LAST CRITIQUE ROUND FOR A WHILE, so please make it count!  I'm several weeks away from my delivery date and will be unable to host again until after the baby arrives.  I'll have a blog post up this week to update you all on what I've been doing and what will be happening.  ;-)

That’s it!  If you have any questions, please hit me up in the comments. 

Spread the word please; the more, the merrier!  Let's fill up this round and help everyone involved get as much feedback as possible.  Also, if you're not a follower of my blog, please do so, so I can continue to offer rounds like this to help writers like you perfect your work.  :)

June Loglines Critique Round *Call for Submissions*

***THE SUBMISSION WINDOW IS NOW CLOSED.  UNFORTUNATELY, THIS MONTH'S ROUND HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO NOT RECEIVING ENOUGH SUBMISSIONS.  PLEASE COME BACK IN JULY FOR THE NEXT CRITIQUE OPPORTUNITY.***

This round is for loglines (also know as "taglines" and "hooks") less than 100 words to be critiqued.  Your manuscript does not have to be complete to enter this round, you just need a polished logline that includes the elements I spoke of in my recent post, "Loglines Demystified".  If you have questions, feel free to drop me a comment or email, or take a peek at previous logline entries posted here on the blog earlier this year/late last year.

From Wednesday, June 27, 2012 at 2:00 PM EDT until Saturday, June 30, 2012 at 2:00 PM EDT, I will accept submissions. I will post them Saturday, June 30, 2012 by 4:00 PM EDT right here at KTCROWLEY.COM for critiquing.
 

Please send submissions to ktcritiques [AT] gmail.com

In the subject, please state “JUNE LOGLINE”

This round I will accept all genres and it is one entry per person, per genre (So you can submit 1 adult, 1 YA/MG).

Please list the TITLE, GENRE and your SCREEN NAME (I will not include screen names in the critique posts, this is for my use only) above your logline (format it the way you normally would). 

Your submission should look like this:


SCREEN NAME: Your Screen Name Here
TITLE: Your Title Here
GENRE: Your Genre Here

(Logline here.)

You will receive a confirmation email, but it may not be right away.  Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window.  

If you enter, you must critique at least 5 other submissions (if there are only five, please critique all entries).  This is so it's fair for everyone involved.  If you've entered twice, critique 10 or all that have been posted if there is less than 10. 

I will accept up to 25 entries.

That’s it!  If you have any questions, please hit me up in the comments.
 Fingers crossed we can fill up the 25 spots!
Spread the word please; the more, the merrier!  Let's fill up this round and help everyone involved get as much feedback as possible.  Also, if you're not a follower of my blog, please do so, so I can continue to offer rounds like this to help writers like you perfect your work.  :)

I look forward to seeing everyone's fabulous work and critiques. 

Loglines, Demystified

Ah, loglines.  Some call them "tag lines" or "hooks".  They are a one to two sentence pitch written to sell our story to readers, agents, and publishers in a snap read.  Loglines are possibly as important as the query letter and synopsis.  Every manuscript needs one, as do movies and TV shows.  So how the heck do you take the thousands and thousands of words of your story and shrink it down to a logline, efficiently conveying your manuscript to make someone bite?

It's not as hard as you may think.

When I wrote my first logline, it was for a writing contest in which my logline was all the judges were going to see of my story.  I agonized over it for days.  I literally had (and still have) pages of logline attempts, none ever seeming right.  With only one chance to impress, I entered one of my attempts with a scowl, a deep hatred for loglines fully formed.  At that time, they felt like devices of torture, only created to drive writers insane.  Unsurprisingly, I didn't place in the contest. 

After that, I made it a point to conquer the dreaded logline, refusing to be a slave to its Rubik’s cube way.  Now I am passing along all I've learned.  The light bulb has clicked on, folks, and loglines really aren't all that awful to write.  I can't promise it'll click for you the way it did for me, but I'm going to do my best to break it down and help you master yours.  Practice makes perfect, especially with the write tools.

Firstly, if you haven't already written your story, but have the plot/general concept worked out, write your logline NOW.  I mean it.  It is so much easier to write your logline before being weighed down by the subplots, characters and back stories we all believe need to somehow fit in it.  In the conceptual stage of writing, you have the main plot worked out already.  That's all your logline needs.  No added details to muddle it. 

If you're where I was (writing a logline after finishing your manuscript) then it's a little more complicated, but not by much.  It's still the marrow of your story, the main plot, you need to convey.  If you don't know what that is, your manuscript may need examining.  You should be able to quickly identify your main plot.

The logline should consist of the following:

• Main plot line
• Protagonist
• Antagonist/Conflict
• Goal
• Consequences

Yes, 5-6 key points to try to include in your logline.  Think there's no way it can be done?  Think again.  Below, I've provided both famous book and movie log/tag lines in which the writer has successfully done so.  Remember, brevity is key here and these writers have managed to hook us using very few words.

Twilight: "When seventeen-year-old Bella leaves Phoenix to live with her father in Forks, Washington, she meets an exquisitely handsome boy at school for whom she feels an overwhelming attraction and who she comes to realize is not wholly human.”

The Hunger Games: "In a future North America, where the rulers of Panem maintain control through an annual televised survival competition pitting young people from each of the districts against one another, sixteen-year-old Katniss's skills are put to the test when she voluntarily takes her younger sister's place."

The Mortal Instruments, City of Bones: "Sixteen year old Clary Fray discovers, after her mother's kidnapping, that she belongs to a world of Shadow Hunters, a nephilum force protecting humans from downworlders (vampires, werewolves, and faeries)."

Pirates of the Caribbean: "A 17th Century tale of adventure on the Caribbean Sea where the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow joins forces with a young blacksmith in a gallant attempt to rescue the Governor of England's daughter and reclaim his ship."

The Godfather: "An Epic tale of a 1940s New York Mafia family and their struggle to protect their empire, as the leadership switches from the father to his youngest son.”

See?  It can be done.  In need of some more examples?  Pick up books published recently (past 5-10 years) and take a look at the copyright page.  A lot of newer books include the logline (noted as a summary) there.  You can even research loglines in TV Guide, just look at the show description and there they are, short and sweet, to the point, but enticing enough to make us want to watch.

Lastly, try to incorporate these while writing your logline:

• An adjective about the protagonist
• An adjective about the antagonist
• A relatable goal

Make it intriguing so that the reader says "This sounds great, I need to read more!" instead of "Eh, I’ll pass”.  Having a fantastic, catchy title that's spot on will also help sell your work.

A fun practice exercise?  Try to write a logline for a book or movie, and then find the official one and compare.  How close were you?  Depending on your results, you should know exactly where you and conquering your own logline are just by this exercise.

Next week, I’ll be hosting a logline critique round to give you the opportunity to polish your logline and show me what you've learned.  I'm really looking forward to seeing what you've got!  Questions?  Drop me a comment, tweet or an email. 

Now, go forth and write your epic logline!

"Fear and Critiques--Even Seasoned Writers Fear the Red-Penned Reaper" Guest Post

Hey, everyone!

First, thanks to the writers and readers who've participated so far in this month's critique round.  There are, once again, some amazing entries and I hope you're all spreading the word (after leaving your own critiques, of course) to help these writers get the feedback they deserve.

Speaking of critiques and feedback, I have a guest post about said topic over on author PW Creighton's website.  I would love for you to check it out, leave your thoughts, and tell your friends about it.  Here's the link:

http://www.pwcreighton.com/surveillance-report/2012/5/30/intriguing-observations-fear-and-critiques.html

I'd be lying if I said I didn't stress over what to write about when I was asked to guest post.  It's funny; I have no issues posting on my own website, but ask me to post elsewhere and I shake in my boots.  Hopefully you'll find it useful and I hope his readers do, too.  I'm still suffering residual nervousness, haha.  So your support, like always, is appreciated! 

While you're there, make sure to check out his site.  PW is a wonderful writer and blogger, and he's someone I have much respect for.  I very much enjoy his posts and appreciate his friendship in the writing community.

That's all for now.  Hugs and inspiration to each of you.  <3

May Test Run #7

Title: The Changeling

Genre: YA Paranormal

 

I came home from the hospital on the anniversary of my sister’s death. Mom kept chatting away with nervous energy, fingers tapping on the wheel of the car as she drove. I didn’t recognize the way she took. Then again, this would be the first time I saw the new house, bought 3 years ago.

“I got you registered for school last week,” she said bringing me out of my thoughts.

“What?”

“I got you registered for school. Eleventh grade.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked.

“You have another week before school starts, so you’ll have time to prepare.” She cast a quick glance my way. “Besides, Dr. Morris said you should get used to a normal routine and what’s more normal for a sixteen year old than high school?”

I shook my head and turned to look out of the window again. Normal for me was very different than most teenagers my age. I knew as soon as I stepped foot in the school everyone would know me as the crazy girl who spent four and a half years in the nut house.

“So you talked to Dr. Morris about this?”

“Of course I did, honey,” she said to me, not a little exasperated. “I’m not going to do anything that would-”

“Send me to Nutsville again,” I finished for her.

“Hey, Dr. Morris has said time and time again that the emotional trauma you went through would have left it’s mark on any young girl.”

May Test Run #6

TITLE: Listen to Me
GENRE: YA contemporary with magical realism

 

As he sinks slowly into the chair across from me, he looks just like a doctor should -- greying hair, a well-trimmed beard with badger-stripes framing his lips, and wire rimmed glasses his wife must have chosen. They're far too tasteful compared to the awful polyester shirt and pants he's wearing. On the plus side, his smile seems genuine.

 

"How are you feeling about today, Stacy?" His voice is too loud for the muted tones of the room -- all earthy browns and soft corners. It's his office, but he's tried to make it look like a living room -- complete with a coffee table squatting between us and lamps on the varnished surfaces at our sides. Too bad the external door has a combination lock. Kind of kills the good-time vibe.

 

He's waiting for an answer. I start to shrug, then freeze in place until the razors of pain ease. My stitches are all out now, but the hard pink lines spiderwebbing across most of my upper body are just a pitiful attempt at healing. Underneath I am still many layers of mangled nerve endings and fractured flesh.

 

Doctor hears me catch my breath and his eyes snap to mine. All that beguiling disinterest is an act. He is measuring me.

 

"Pain?" he says, softly this time.

 

"Yes. But it's not so bad. I just moved wrong." It burns and crackles under my skin until I want to scream.  But I won't tell him that.