CT First Page #7

Title: Graceful Death

Genre: YA Paranormal

The instant my knees hit the ground I know. My insomnia is killing me from the inside out. I struggle to pick myself up, but the sweat in my palms turns cold, tacking my hand to the faded mauve linoleum. The faint odor of disinfectant and dirty sneakers wafts up, stinging my nostrils while the entire student body walks around me.

               

My heart thrums erratically in my ears. My vision spots with white film.

               

Not in the damn hallway, anywhere but here.

               

But I can’t control it anymore. Sleep is such a cruel and distant idea by now that when my energy seeps out, threatening to pull me into unconsciousness, the only thing I can do is rebound and rally. So, as the Santa Cruz High School crowd thins, I fall against a set of coral half-lockers and wait it out.

               

Only one more period, then I can go home, deal with this in private. Other than a few “whoa,” and “doing okay, there, Grace,” the other students ignore me. Except for the guy standing by the window. His tall frame casts a shadow across the floor, draping over me like a psychopath in a movie.

               

I ready a sharp nasty comment, but the sight of him stops me. I grow colder still. At first I think he’s dressed in all black, some emo kid hoping to get off on witnessing my meltdown, but the chill that pricks my spine warns of something different. Something dangerous.

CT First Page #6

TITLE: SO YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AN EVIL SORCERESS

GENRE: YA Fantasy

Mysty didn’t notice the black knight at the bottom of the stairs until she tripped over its mace. She slammed into a tapestry and scratched her face on the rough surface as she crumpled to the floor.

Mom rushed out of the kitchen.  “Are you okay?”

“Who moved the stupid knight?” Mysty asked.

“He’s wishing you a happy birthday.” 

“It’s an old pile of tin, Mom.” Mysty dreaded this day all year. Last year’s present was probably still scurrying around the sewer hissing and terrorizing the smaller natives. She couldn’t imagine what horrors awaited her this year. “Now I have a rug burn.”

“Tapestry burn,” Mom corrected. “You should put some peroxide on that.”

“The entry is a bad place for the knight. We should move it.” While she still had skin on her face.

Mom piled the armor on its pedestal.  “Where would we put it?”

“The basement, out of sight, eBay . . .”

“We aren’t selling the black knight.”

Mysty opened the kitchen door.  “Most people keep potted plants in their entry.” She saw something move outside and hurried to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever lurked in the woods.  Morning mist clung to barren trees and caressed the icy branches, but nothing was there.

Mom grabbed a bundle of herbs hanging from the ceiling and dropped them in a bubbling cauldron on the stove.  Smoke poured out and filled the kitchen with the stench of burning gym socks.  “Breakfast is ready.”

CT First Page #5

TITLE: Riding the Dam
GENRE: MG humor, coming-of-age

Today was like any other summer day in San Angelo--hot, dry, and full of possibilities.  Today was the day Raymond and I were going to ride the dam. This was not just any dam, but the biggest dam in the world.  I never questioned this fact, but simply understood if it was in Texas, it had to be the biggest.
    
Raymond and I both had bicycles, but I had decided early on that it was a lot of work to pedal around looking for ways to spice up our days, so I convinced Raymond to let me ride on his handlebars while he did the pedaling.  I told him that this arrangement allowed for easier conversation. This method was not without risks. Some kids got their toes cut off in the spokes of a bike riding like this, so I developed toes like an eagle's talons to wrap around the front axle.

It took us thirty minutes to get to the extreme end of the dam and there, we began our slow assent to the highest point.  It was straight uphill and Raymond was pedaling, almost standing straight up.  This was going to be harder than I thought.  Raymond almost immediately began to question his supplying all the man power as I did the navigating.  It took a lot of convincing, but I explained that in addition to providing good conversation, I could watch for rattlesnakes.  Raymond was deathly afraid of rattlesnakes. We'd never seen any; but I reminded Raymond that it was always a possibility.

CT First Page #4

TITLE: The Rowaness of Shalott
GENTRE: YA Fantasy

Never had I felt the sensation of touch. Not the wind in my hair or stones under my feet. If only I could awaken my skin, startle my half-alive body into awareness, release my spirit from the rowan trees.

Forget I was a nameless Rowaness.

Curling my finger, I beckoned an ocean breeze and twined it around a single blossom, high in the canopy of my favorite rowan tree. The flower floated down, petals like fluttering wings, its life force fading.

With a prayer to Eve, I opened my hand.

The blossom landed in my palm like a silent kiss.

Nothing.

Casting the flower aside, I strode out to the cliff and closed my eyes, listening to the waves crash onto the pebbled shore below. The spray from the ocean whispered through the veil strung over the back of my hair. Then everything hushed until the rowan trees rustled, echoing the sound of a commanding female voice. Her whisperings built into an urgent crescendo, spreading across the island for all the Rowaness to hear. “Veil your faces,” Nimue warned. “The king’s ship is near!”

I ducked to the ground, then after a moment’s hesitation, crept to the cliff’s edge. In the distance, a large vessel rocked upon the water as silhouetted figures drew in its great sail, bearing the crest of the blue dragon. I blinked in disbelief. The king and Merlin hadn’t set foot in Shalott for five years. No men had.

I didn’t veil my face.

CT First Page #3

TITLE:  Unraveled
GENRE:  YA mystery

My mother’s best friend insisted I wear one of her designer dresses to
my first homecoming dance. I couldn’t refuse, nor did I want to.

Inside Nancy Kline’s meticulous closet, I found it impossible to pick
a favorite, until I saw the strapless taffeta bubble dress.

I couldn’t stop grinning. “This is the one.” I handed Nancy the hanger.

She ran her fingers over the fabric, identifying the design. “This
material was imported from India,” she said with pride. Nancy was
going to be a famous fashion designer before she lost her vision.

Up over my head, I slipped the dress on and stood in front of the
mirror. However, the perfect dress wasn’t necessarily the perfect fit.

“Taylor, give me a few minutes and I’ll make a few minor alterations.”
Nancy moved behind her sewing machine and I watched her stitch from
memory. She was fun to talk to, and if she were my age she’d be my
best friend.

“I have some costume jewelry you might be interested in—exceptionally
good imitation. In my guest room, there’s a tall dresser. I think the
second drawer.” Nancy paused. “Help yourself, while I finish up here.”

“No. Really?”

Next to the closet stood the wooden dresser. I opened the first drawer
and sitting right on top, I found an envelope marked adoption papers.
My heart was beating fast, and this little voice in my head said, ‘Do
not open.’ But, the rest of me said, ‘Yes open, and read.’

CT First Page #2

TITLE: Dream Weaver
GENRE: YA Sci-Fi

Snow white sand between my toes. Emerald waters as far as the eye can see. Sun beating down on my face. The warm ocean breeze blowing my hair. This is home. Not the orphanage I’ve lived at for the past seventeen years. Nothing can ruin this.

“Oh look, someone let the Fins out to play,” Poppy Robinson snickers as she and her cronies pass by my towel.
I keep my focus trained on the waves lapping along the shore, staring straight through them as her friends join in her laughter.

I still remember the first time I heard the oh-so-clever nickname created by the students of Destiny Way.

“Who is that?” a girl asked.

“Oh, no one. She’s just a Fin,” replied a second.

“Fin?”

“Yeah, from Emerald Coast Home for Orphans, or-Fin. Get it?”

I still hear their cackles ringing in my ears.

“Let’s go Megan,” Mrs. Garver, the house mother at ECHO, calls to me. “Everyone else is on the bus.”

As I stand to brush the sand off my legs, I scan the beach around me. Caught up in my own world once again, I didn't even notice the others were gone. We couldn't have been out here for more than an hour; I’m not even pink from the sun. It sucks that our trips to the beach are only once a month. Never enough time.

I sulk the entire ride home, during dinner, and my nightly routine. Not only is today the last beach day of the year, tomorrow is orientation day at Destiny Way.

CT First Page #1

TITLE: Hunter & Hunted
GENRE: YA Paranormal Romance

The coastline blurred past as I raced over the hard-packed sand littered with sharp rocks. Up ahead, a niche formed between two craggy limestone cliffs caught my eye. I veered for it and glanced behind me as I ran. The limestone scraped against the thin t-shirt on my back as I squeezed myself into the tight space. Spray from the ocean rained down over me, drenched my shirt and turned my long, dark hair into a scraggly mess.
    
My parents sprinted by and sand flew up in their wake. Once they neared the water’s edge, they slowed and stalked toward their prey like two jungle cats with black leather armor in place of fur. My mother’s katana, with its long, curved blade, glinted in the sun. As I crouched in relative safety with sour fear eating at my stomach, my father didn’t even have his sword at the ready. My father’s claymore was still sheathed down the length of his back, nearly as tall as him.  I tightened my grip on my own weapon, a simple silver dagger. My palms were slick with sweat, and the gritty salt and sand rubbed my skin raw.

My mother caught my eye and made a quick movement with her hand, indicating that she wanted me to follow. I hesitated before I rose from my spot between the rocks. I trailed behind my parents, and sweat beaded my brow when I thought about the battle ahead.

"CRUNCH TIME" First Page Critiques--Call For Submissions

From Friday, Oct. 28 at 12:00 PM EDT until Saturday, Oct. 29 at 2:00 PM EDT, I will accept submissions. I will post them later that day right here at KTCROWLEY.COM for critiquing.
 

Please send submissions to ktcritiques [AT] gmail.com

In the subject, please state “CT FIRST PAGE”

This round I will accept all genres and it's one entry per person, per genre (So you can submit 1 adult 1 YA/MG).

Please list the TITLE, GENRE and your SCREEN NAME (I will not include these in the critique posts) above your 250 words (format it the way you normally would).  Please do not stop in the middle of a sentence.  If it goes over the 250 limit by a couple of words, that's fine.  If you stop at 247 words, that's fine, too.

Your submission should look like this:


SCREEN NAME: Your Screen Name Here

TITLE: Your Title Here

GENRE: Your Genre Here

(Excerpt here.)

• Please leave out "chapter one," chapter "titles", etc.  Otherwise, I may count them toward your 250 and you could lose some of your first page entry.
• You will receive a confirmation email, but it may not be right away.  Only resend if you don't get one by the last hour of the submission window.  

If you enter, you must critique at least 5 other submissions (if there are only five, please critique all except your own).  This is so it's fair for everyone involved. 

I will accept up to 20 entries.

That’s it!  If you have any questions, please hit me up in the comments.

I hope we can fill up the 20 spots!  Spread the word.  :)

October Logline #14

Title: O WOEFUL DAY
Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary

While assistant stage-managing the senior center's production of Romeo and Juliet, twelve-year-old Tierra watches as her fabulous Gram falls off Juliet's balcony. Gram's hip isn't the only thing that shatters; Tierra's life is suddenly in pieces, too. With her guardian Gram headed for a nursing home, Tierra’s forced to move in with the globe-trotting mother she barely knows. Talk about stab-yourself-with-a-dagger tragic. And even worse than that? Wondering when her stranger-mother might just up and leave again.

October Logline #13

TITLE: The Rowaness of Shalott
GENRE: YA Fantasy

With her life force tied to a rowan tree, an immortal girl cannot experience the sensation of touch until it is awakened by the young knight Lancelot, who then gives her the name of his unrequited love, Guinevere. But their forbidden romance threatens to expose the secret protecting Guinevere’s female race, the Rowaness. She must sacrifice her capacity to feel, and her growing love, otherwise the bond to her rowan tree is forfeit, along with her life.

October Logline #12

TITLE:    SEREN'S ANGEL
GENRE:  Paranormal Romance
 
Emma’s psychic abilities lead her to James, her soul mate. However, he has another soul spirit inside him and it needs to be freed. The fate of this soul’s existence rests in their hands. To free it is the ultimate act, and Emma doesn’t like it one bit – James will have to die.

October Logline #11

Title: Opposition
Genre: YA Fantasy

The Aerisians—people living on the invisible, floating continent of Aeris—were given a power beyond the elements and a legendary task centuries ago: protect the Yin Shadow and the Yang Light, the pair that makes up the balance of the Earth. But in the week Atalanta Raire turns fifteen, suddenly the Light is stolen, her sister goes missing, and the only thing Ata can do is go to the Earth Plane, where a trapped Cimmerian bent on twisted revenge shatters free of his prison, and Ata’s nonexistent luck is about to make her his bait for a desperate and crumbling world.

October Logline #10

Title: SOPHIE
Genre: YA Historical Fantasy

During a summer exchange program in Paris, Sophie accidentally leaps backward in time to 1895. As the window home closes, Sophie must decide whether to unlock a mysterious heirloom’s secrets and return to her own life as a potential prima ballerina, or stay in the past to live someone else’s future with a man whose descendants would never be born.

October Logline #9

Title: Tripplehorn Parker, Hesitant Heroine Extraordinaire
Genre: Upper MG Adventure

Previous logline link: http://crowleykt.blogspot.com/2011/10/logline-2.html

12-year-old adventure-phobe Tripplehorn Parker opens a secret message the night before traveling to the Ugandan bush, and it urges her to protect an ancient idol by hiding it forever. With her researcher parents distracted by wildlife, she’ll have to nix nerves (and embrace her inner heroine) to find the destiny-controlling treasure and outwit a herd of bad guys who will kill to exploit it.

October Logline #8

TITLE: THE HEART OF MEMORY
GENRE: MG SF/F

Twelve-year-old Justin isn't an arsonist, but nobody is going to believe a
dragon with a stolen egg set the fire. When Justin recovers the egg, a
frost and fire dragon hybrid, he races into a fantastical world, pursued
by the dragon desperate to take it back. If Justin doesn’t return the egg
to its mother in time, two endangered dragon species will become extinct

October Logline #7

TITLE: Left & Right
GENRE: MG

After a motorcycle accident kills his older sister, ten-year-old Alexander wakes up in the hospital with a hole in his memory and a missing voice. What he’s gained are two invisible friends who have no idea who they are or where they came from. Though Alexander truly wants to help, after losing his sister and his voice, he's terrified that he’ll lose his new friends too.

October Logline #6

TITLE:  Unnatural
GENRE:  YA Paranormal Romance

Previous Post: http://crowleykt.blogspot.com/2011/10/logline-36.html

Seventeen-year-old Alexa’s life and the future of humanity hang in the balance when the power only she can generate makes her the trophy between two races warring for mankind. Her choice between risk-taking Vanquisher, Dell, and the mysterious Sentinel, Hayden, will not only decide who Alexa loves, but which side she’d die fighting for, revealing alls fate.

October Logline #5

TITLE: BABY DOE
GENRE: Mystery

One wintery night in the woods, a man wrenches a baby from the arms of a teenage girl, thereby opening the door for murder, rape, and incest. Bucky Ontario, clever and daring, learns the shocking truth and goes up against a town determined to stop him at any price.

October Logline #4

Here Comes the Sun
YA-Contemporary

Due to a severe dose of shyness, 17-year-old Natalie's life is as depressing as her favorite MP3 playback list. But a senior trip to England changes everything when she opens up to a kaleidoscope-eyed Beatles fanatic who has her heart crooning love tunes, forcing her to confront the dark event that left her friendless in hopes of starting fresh with her musical soul mate.

October Logline #3

TITLE: Simon's Oath
GENRE: YA

Two orphaned brothers are hired to rehabilitate the daughter of a brothel owner who doesn’t talk, she only screams and bites. If Simon and Hector can transform her into a normal girl, they will be fed and clothed until they reach adulthood. It they fail, they will be sold back into indentured slavery dredging silt from the local river where a single slip could mean their death.